Happy Thanksgiving and a BBeliever Daily Links - 11/10/11 Daily Links - 11/2/11
Fun at Sea
Football Fans
Great College
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
PC Weenies
The Neverending Story
Gratuity Not Included
Uptime Downtime
Geek Horoscopes
Random Geek Horoscopes
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
[H]ard Folding Team
The Toque
Worth 1000
Joe the Peacock
PC Weenies
Mental Floss
Smashing Games
Free Codecs
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
Um... Things
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Wednesday  December 20  1:44 PM EST

Office Jesus Will Work Miracles for Food

By Brian Briggs

Ann Arbor, MI - The recent downturn in the economy has caused many corporations to rationalize their employees.  Even Office Jesus has been unable to escape the ax.  Once the VP of Coffee Making and Security at Selby Communications, Office Jesus is now homeless and forced to work miracles for food.

Will Work Miracles for FoodShortly after firing Office Jesus, President of Selby Communications, Henry Thomas said, "Our sales numbers were dipping and we needed to make cutbacks to maintain profitability.  The guy made some damn good coffee, but that wasn't helping the bottom line."  More recently Selby Communications filed bankruptcy after sales plummeted and a swarm of locust destroyed their inventory. In addition, Henry Thomas has been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.

Office Jesus was unable to find work in Lufkin, so he journeyed north.  "I moved to Ann Arbor [Michigan] because they have a lot of coffee shops where I thought I could find work," said Jesus.  "But things haven't worked out too well. I couldn't make enough money at Espresso Royale to keep paying the rent, and once I didn't have a permanent address the bastards fired me."

Since being terminated Office Jesus has been living in a shelter and working miracles on street corners for spare change.  "Curing blindness is a nice skill to have, but unless your landlord is blind, it doesn't pay the rent." said Office Jesus.

"You'd be surprised at how thankless these people are," continued Office Jesus, "I'll cure their cancer and they'll give me 50 cents.  Another guy was down here saying he'd have me arrested for practicing medicine without a license.   Luckily for me he had a pretty bad accident before he could do that."

Editor's note:  Shortly after this article was printed Office Jesus was contacted by several bankrupt dot com corporations to see if he could resurrect their businesses.

More Microsoft News

Recommend this Story to a Friend

Previous Story:

NVIDIA Rips a New One
Next Story:

Dreamcastless Search for Hope

RSS Feed Subscribe
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Amazon Find the BBook


  Politics Contact FAQs

sharepoint survey web part - make money online

Copyright 1999-2011 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.