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Wednesday, May 28 12:01 AM EST

BBspot Mailbag

Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.

Believers

More Matrix believers, will it ever end?

From: Scott
Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2003 6:26 PM
To: 'briggsb@bbspot.com'
Subject: Matrix Reloaded

I must say I am confused. I appears you are a movie critic. You rip appart a movie that is a continuation of the first movie in the same universe for stealing too much from the universe it was created in. I just don't get it. There is also complaint that the name Matrix Reloaded is worse than Matrix 2. Why??? How many movies had almost the same story line just a diffent fish or Jason or a Nightmare... I will start complaining if they go beyond the three. It is not a Matrix-Rip off. They own it. They are expanding the universe so you get a richer understanding of what there is... I am not saying that the movie could not be improved upon but here they are taking advantage of a method of movie making they invented or perfected during the last film. This is the way that universe operates. It also is a subtle reminder to the audience that this is the Matrix. While in Zion they don't do Bullet Time.

Pick a better argument for not likeing something......

I think we can all see how the machines won.

I think this guy is a bit confused about the purpose of BBspot. He supports the Universal Time Zone....

From: blue knight [mailto:xxxxxx@hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, May 20, 2003 1:26 AM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Universal Time-Zone

I'm still new to your website, but I have to say that the story about changing all time zones to one universal time zone really made sense to me. I mean they had the twilight savings cause of farmers, and lets face it, most of us aren't farmers anymore. An idea like this may actually help business, it may not seem like it at first, but if everyone was on the same time and same schedule at the same time we could do so much to revolutionize the world of business, communications and travel. Imagine how easy it would be if you could fly to Europe and still be on the same schedule when you got there and be able to go to bed at the same time.
Why didn't anyone thing of this before?
Sincerely,
new reeder.

I told him I forwarded his message to the President.

A very kind reader forwarded this link to a message from someone who really thought there were going to be Xbox Size fries...

Oh sure, we should all be responsible for our own weight management but it's hard when we are bombared with food offerrings that amount to Catherine Zeta Jones serving sizes. Mcdonald's, the Supersize folks now have an even bigger supersize called the XBoz size...

Read the entire rant.

One common theme is the lack of spelling skills in the believers.

Mork Calling Orson

This next e-mail probably should be filed under the "Believer" heading, except it's not a BBspot story he believes. This is one of several messages I have received...

From: Der Voron
Sent: Saturday, May 24, 2003 10:40 PM
To: submissions@bbspot.com
Subject: Pole Shift, May 27 (according to Zetatalk)

How to save yourself during the coming Pole Shift catastrophe
By Der Voron, author of Starcraft
Zeta Reticuli – Solar System, 3rd planet

There are many ways to save yourself during this disaster described in Zetatalk, the website that explains the Pole Shift and its possible consequences. These can be found in Troubled Times section: construction of oval-shaped buildings and refuges, moving residences away from coasts due to possible giant tidal waves, etc.

But there is also another way of action. It consists in involving the aliens.

For example, if extraterrestrial starcraft visit your area more or less often, i.e. if you can observe them (usually they are referred to as UFOs), and if you have something unique or even not very unique, but still useful and interesting -- like some sophisticated products of human work and technology, also rare Earth plants, animals, and so on -- then you can offer these to them, in exchange for the possibility to travel in their starcraft several days. How to get in contact with the aliens? Some observations in the past showed that extraterrestrials, whether inside or outside their starships, sometimes (judging by their reaction; an example could be a case when a starcraft began accomplishing voice orders that a man started giving to it when it was flying by: forward, back, up, down, etc) understood human speech, so this way might work.

Giving you this advice, we hope that you will use the connections that may be established with the extraterrestrials for persuading them to help other humans during the Pole Shift and after it.

Wow, I bet he really enjoyed The Core!

Future BBspot Writer?

New Wave of Copycat Killings Blamed on The Matrix Reloaded
By Andrew Crowe

Louisiana, a new wave of copycat killings, not seen since the release of Natural Born Killers, is being blamed on the new hit movie “The Matrix Reloaded.

“It’s mayhem!” Deputy police chief Bob Archibald explained, “We’ve got people leaping out in front of traffic, others picking fights with anyone wearing dark glasses and a black tie." We spoke to Jim Tailor, whose friend Dave Macklin fell victim to an attack shortly after the film’s release. “We’d just come out the cinema walking down the sidewalk when we spotted like some busses coming. Dave just said ‘I can feel them’ and like stepped out into the road holding his hand out. I was getting ready for some really cool special effects but Dave just got knocked down." Jim continued, “The effects were a real let down, I mean, where were the slow motion jumps and ripple effects? OK, the blood and dismemberment were quite realistic, but I was expecting so much more from it."

In Chicago, a different pattern has emerged. “We’ve got people all over the loop jumping off tall buildings yelling ‘THERE IS NO SPOON.’ It’s a nightmare," explained detective Frank Walenski. “I mean we all know how much damage a mere quarter dropped from that height can do. With all these bodies falling from the sky someone is going to get hurt, or even killed.”

It is thought that many of these incidents have been inspired by a rumour circulating on the Internet that a man resembling Keanu Reeves leapt soaring into the air in front of a large crowd of witnesses. However, it has emerged that this was simply a clip from the movie trailer. In related news popular spoon-bender Uri Geller has been moved to secure accommodation after he was suspected of being “the one”. After the word got out he was mobbed continuously by matrix fans begging him to free them, and now requires 24-hour protection. He declined to comment but his press secretary has informed us that he will be auditioning for the coveted roll of Neo in Matrix Revolutions.

Stock in Giovanni Navarre, manufacturer of Trench coats, was up on the news.

Which OS is the Matrix?

Last week a reader wrote outlining why he thought the Matrix was running a Microsoft OS. Another reader disputes this claim...

From: Rojas
Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2003 7:32 AM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: About Matrix - Microsoft

Dear Brian,

First time I write to you after checking bbspot for more than 2 years.

I always thought about writing but I have been really lazy. But after reading in your mailbox that Matrix Runs in Windows, I decided to write to complain.

I really don't think it runs on Windows because:

1.- The Matrix doesn't have to reboot every time somebody goes in it or leaves it
2.- I never seen the "blue screen of death" (maybe it will be the villain on the 3rd part)
3.- If the agent software was created with by Microsoft.. then where is the little clip assistant for help??
4.- We can see Keanu Reeves flying perfectly in the movie and you better than everybody know that the Windows XP Flight Feature is Flawed

You can surely come up with better reasons (maybe in the Top 11). ;-)

The debate continues.

That's all for this week!

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