BBspot


Archives
 
BBlog
Happy Thanksgiving and a BBeliever Daily Links - 11/10/11 Daily Links - 11/2/11
BBloopers
Fun at Sea
Football Fans
Great College
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
PC Weenies
The Neverending Story
Gratuity Not Included
Uptime Downtime
Geek Horoscopes
Random Geek Horoscopes
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Recommended
Fark
[H]ard Folding Team
The Toque
Worth 1000
Joe the Peacock
PC Weenies
Mental Floss
Smashing Games
Free Codecs
SlushFactory
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
I-Mockery
Um... Things
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Tuesday,  June 24 12:01 AM EDT

Fucking Pinata Finally Breaks

By Brian Briggs

Elgin, IL - Timmy Jepsen's birthday party was delayed three hours by a virtually indestructible piñata.

"I didn't think the fucking thing was ever going to break," said an exasperated father of the birthday boy, Tom Jepsen. "I mean the kids were bashing it with a stick for an hour and there was hardly a dent. I wanted to get the reciprocating saw and rip it open that way, but the wife said 'if the kids want the candy they'll have to work for it.'"

Husky Joe takes a crack while indestructible SpongeBob laughs

The children first started bashing the SpongeBob Squarepants shaped piñata with a wooden dowel rod, but as that proved ineffective other bashing instruments were put into use.

"After the stick we got a whiffle ball bat, then I started getting pissed so I got a length of lead pipe from the garage. A couple of the wimpy kids couldn't lift it, so we had to skip their turns," said the elder Jepsen.

Eventually Jepsen recruited a husky ten year old boy from the neighborhood and gave him a small hatchet. "I made sure the kids were pretty far back so they didn't get hurt," explained Jepsen. "Even with the hatchet it took about five solid whacks to get the cheap-ass candy they had pre-stuffed in there."

Carlos Smith from the Incredible Piñata Company revealed that three hours is pretty normal for breaking open one of their piñatas. He added, "The worst thing that can happen at a birthday party is for the first kid to bust open the piñata. All the other children don't get a turn and you're left with a bunch of crying third graders. That's why our piñatas have sidewalls reinforced with hi-tech kevlar threads. Breaking it on the first hit is nearly impossible."

Related News

Chemistry Demo Team Rapidly Oxidized

Grade Inflation Forces New Grading System

Coffee Addict Denies Sleeping Problem

Smith continued, "Since we spend so much money on the construction of the piñata itself it doesn't leave much margin for the candy, so we get some cough drops that have passed their expiration date from a distributor in Latvia. Kids don't really care as long as it's sugary and is a pretty color."

Jepsen stated that next year they are going to Chuck E. Cheese.

More News

Recommend this Story to a Friend

Previous Story:

Giant Spider Wants More Roles
Next Story:

An Old School Beatdown

 
 
RSS Feed Subscribe
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Google Buzz Follow Us on Buzz
Amazon Find the BBook

 

  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

sharepoint survey web part - make money online

Copyright 1999-2011 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.