Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without
the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing
because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of
the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just
I'm not sure if this guy is a Believer or not, in fact I'm not
quite sure what he is....
Sent: Sunday, December 14, 2003 9:39 AM
I request if your can send me the empty cigarettes packs that their Company
takes place to arrive. That which would be a great pleasure to count
on them and to annex it to my collection. Very sincerely and from already
Ensenam Ayele keeps
bringing in the Believers...
Sent: Saturday, December 13, 2003 11:42 PM
Subject: money to give
How would I be able to recieve a gift for this person? I
don't need Millions.
I'm sure any amount of free money would be fine for this
Sent: Thursday, December 11, 2003 8:24 PM
Subject: PLEASE HELP ME!
I read the article about the billionaire giving away money,
He gave $12 million to one guy and changed his life. Well I
am trying to start my own business so I can better care for
my five children. I only need $25,000. So if he would like
to help my family We would all greatly appreciate this. I am
trying to start a small vending machine business and eventually
grow to a large one. The amount of money i need covers the
machines,products,and advertising. If there would be anyway
you could get me in contact with this gentleman I would greatly
appreciate it. I would even be able to pay the money back to
a charity or what ever he would like. Thank you for your time.
I wonder how many of these people are trying to scam the
This next guy isn't a Believer, but he enjoys the Nigerian scammers
as much as I do...
Sent: Monday, December 15, 2003 6:42 AM
Subject: FW: MARIAM ABACHA (WIDOW).
Thought some of your readers might be interested seeing as
how your previous article elicited such a big response. I am
sure the offer is valid, despite warnings to the contrary listed
at the bottom of the BBC News site link. I would take advantage
of the offer, but I have already been given enough money by
your previous Nigerian philanthropist, and do not need any
(sent from David's desk on a fucking big yacht somewhere
<nigerian spam e-mail snipped>
I wonder how many people will respond about this e-mail?
I sure hope this isn't a Believer...
Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 1:58 PM
Subject: Request permission to use
I coordinate and teach in the xxxxxxxxx program, an online
program. The LTN 101 class, Intro to Library Services has an
introductory unit on copyright. I would like permission to
provide to the students, an attachment of the article from
Monday, December 15 12:01 AM EST, "God
Considers Smiting Bible Pirates" by Kristian Werner.
This is a humorous way to reinforce book copyright with the
Thank you for considering this request.
This isn't the first time I've had a request from a professor
to use BBspot material for a class. I wonder when some college
will offer an entire course based on BBspot material?
The BBjedi picture maker did e-mail me a version with my face
lit up more to satisfy the other geeks, but it reminded George
of another gaffe...
Sent: Tuesday, December 09, 2003 11:07 PM
To: Brian Briggs
Subject: BBJedi - not the worst error of the type
The letter regarding your not-so-lightsaber
photograph reminded me of another such mistake, one that goes
to show that such things happen even when people are supposedly
paying close attention to detail.
Shortly after the movie "Apollo 13" was released,
Popular Mechanics magazine published a nit-picking article
about it. (They were quick to point out that they loved the
movie, and were nit-picking in a good-humored way.) One of
the errors they noticed was a sequence in which a shot of one
character, with the full Earth visible in the window behind
him, was immediately followed by shot of a character against
the opposite wall of the spacecraft, with the full moon visible
in the window behind him. To paraphrase Popular Mech's comment: "Either
they were WAY off course, or the spacecraft was as bright as
They also noticed that the sailor who helped them to board
the ship at the end of the movie was way too old for his rank--and
that he bore some resemblance to the real Jim Lovell.
I guess I can't be surprised
at how many people wrote in to tell me everything I wanted to
know about the reindeer names. Here's one of the more humorous
Sent: Wednesday, December 10, 2003 2:14 PM
Subject: Re: Pedantic, Me?
I am a "Long Time Reader, First Time Responder"
At the risk of ending up ridiculed on your Mailbag page,
I would like to point something else in "Rudolph the red
nosed reindeer." If you believed that Donder was actually
Donner (german for Thunder) and Blitzen (german for Lightning),
then you probably believed that Vixen was "Vicksen",
the german word for masturbation. It all makes sense to me...
I don't want to know what Prancer means.
That's all for this week!
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