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Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without
the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing
because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of
the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just
simply amazing.
Kessel Run
The Kessel Run debate shows up in many places on BBspot, so it
was bound to generate some e-mail...
From: Devin
Sent: Thursday, February 12, 2004 3:59 AM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Revisionists can explain away all they want, but as has been
clearly established several places, Kessel is a planet, which
produces a drug, and the Kessel Run is a smuggling run. Han Solo
is a smuggler, not a drag racer. Eleven parsecs? I'm willing
to pretend that's time. Or else maybe he found a shortcut. But
who cares, really?
I couldn't agree more.
Panspermia
The educational power of BBspot continues to amaze and astound...
From: David
Sent: Friday, February 06, 2004 10:37 AM
To: 'briggsb@bbspot.com'
Subject: (U) Thank You
I would like to officially thank BBspot for adding the word "Panspermia" to
my vocabulary. My life is now richer and more fulfilled. I enthusiastically
look forward to my opportunities to "drop" that word
into a regular conversation around the "water tank",
or during a smoke break.
I would also like to propose that this word be given an award
of some kind, for being one of the more likely words to be mistaken
for a sexual meaning.
How many words out there have "sperm" in them?
Before sending this e-mail, it is important to note that Bill
Gates may not be a proponent of perspermia (say that 10 times
real fast). My Microsoft spellchecker does not recognize the
word.
Smart Guy One reader tries to correct a common misconception that
I posted in the poll...
From: Tom
Sent: Friday, February 06, 2004 2:20 PM
To: 'briggsb@bbspot.com'
Subject: Lowest Average Intelligence poll
Hey I'm a VB programmer..... We are too samrt smart,
and we can CapAtalize just fine. We are real programmers darn
it, we are,
we are, we are...
Left Handed Mouse
A couple people responded to my post in the BBlog about my switch
to left-handed
mousing...
From: Nancy
Sent: Thursday, February 05, 2004 10:13 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Left Handed
Just wanted to say hang in there with the left handed mouse.
I did the same swap for the same reason almst 10 years ago and
still mouse exclusively left handed today. I used to get a sore
right shoulder, elbow and hand but have never had any problems
on the left. And no, it doesn't take 10 years to become proficient.
Playing games like minesweeper is good for improving dexterity
(it only takes a few clicks on the wrong square to really motivate
you to improve)
Plus you get to freak out people who try to use your computer,
especially if the mouse buttons are swapped too.
Ergonomic
keyboard, wireless, left-handed mouse with swapped buttons,
have made me incompatible with all other computer systems in
this house. I wonder if that means I don't have to do support
for them any more.
From: William
Sent: Friday, February 06, 2004 2:10 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Left Handed
bbspot.com/News/2003/08/top_11_geek_euphemisms.html
need i say more
My own stories coming back to haunt me. See #1.
Future BBspot Writer
SCO Group Purchases Evil from Microsoft
by Alex "Silicon" Lyman
The SCO Group, after four months of negotiation, has announced
a $2.4 billion deal with Microsoft's Board of Directors, for
the full rights to all Evil.
"Last fall we released our plans to pre-emptively kill
potential Intellectual-Property-infringing Linux users, and Microsoft
promptly slapped us with a license audit." said SCO's CEO
Darl McBride. "So, we just asked if we could just buy the
whole durn thing." McBride continued.
"Really, we feel this is just a culmination of events;
we're bringing back Evil into the indirect control of Satan,
where it just seems to work better." said Ralph Yarro, Chairman
and the Head of Satanic Affairs for SCO.
"We just didn't believe the market had our company in interest
anymore, with Bill being made a Defender of the Faith and all," said
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer. Chairman Bill Gates declined to
comment on Microsoft's announced "Evil Everywhere" product
line has ended.
Microsoft bought the rights to Evil in first-quarter 2000, when
Satan, the inventor of Evil and founder and CEO of Evil on Earth
Enterprises, was looking for a buyer. Satan was unavailable for
comment, but demons close to the immortal being say he will not
challenge the transfer of rights.
SCO, or The Satanic Cultists' Operation Group, was founded in
1979, as a front for Evil on Earth Enterprises, and was the only
Satan-backed company not merged during the 2000 acquisition by
Microsoft; Microsoft cited mutual dislike of each other's code
then, but has since bonded with the company based on their common
goal of evil everywhere.
Microsoft was formerly involved in a legal disputes with former
Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden, both set to
go to hearing early next year, for alleged use of Evil with pirated
licenses. SCO has said they will continue in those pursuits,
but has requested a delay in the hearings, due to its many other
legal fronts in progress at the moment. The Department of Justice
declined comment until the request could be reviewed.
Microsoft was also believed to be investigating the feasibility
of seeing the United States Government for alleged use of Evil
during their War on Terrorism; but both Microsoft and SCO declined
comment on that issue.
That's all for this week!
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