BBspot


Archives
 
BBlog
Happy Thanksgiving and a BBeliever Daily Links - 11/10/11 Daily Links - 11/2/11
BBloopers
Fun at Sea
Football Fans
Great College
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
PC Weenies
The Neverending Story
Gratuity Not Included
Uptime Downtime
Geek Horoscopes
Random Geek Horoscopes
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Recommended
Fark
[H]ard Folding Team
The Toque
Worth 1000
Joe the Peacock
PC Weenies
Mental Floss
Smashing Games
Free Codecs
SlushFactory
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
I-Mockery
Um... Things
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Monday, October 4 12:00 AM ET

New Doppler Radar Identifies, Destroys Competing Doppler Radars

By Cody James and Brian Briggs

Portland, OR. - KWQT News 9 Portland has always told audiences that it is "Your No. 1 source for up-to-the-minute weather." Thanks to its new SADDRAD™ (Seek-and-Destroy Doppler Radar) 9000 system, that assertion has never been more accurate.

Doppler Radar"We are using SADDRAD Doppler 9000, the most advanced weather detection system in the greater Portland area," said Jeffrey Huilman, KWQT station manager. "It employs the latest Doppler technology, allowing for more accurate forecasts, and its built-in particle beam ensures that KWQT will be your best (and only) choice for weather information now and well into the future."

One other Portland station isn't being passive in this battle. Channel 2 has completed their own Doppler destroying system. Meteorologist Gavin Simpson explained, "This means war," and pulled a sheet down to reveal the Doppler Apocalypse Missile 2000. "It can't tell you shit about the weather, but DAM 2000 will leave SADDRAD 9000 in ashes. That's what's important."

Low-rated KPIL cannot afford a Doppler destroying system, and has had to turn to scare tactics to gain viewers. "Your Doppler radar system might be destroyed at any moment. Film at 11," said a recent tease between an episode of Joey and The Apprentice.

Related News

Top 11 Campaign Pledges You'll Never Hear

9/11 Panel Calls Neocons "Nation's Biggest Threat"

MacGyver Foils Airport Security

Officials at the National Weather Service were concerned about the escalation in hostilities in the battle for weather forecasting supremacy. "We're worried that a war may break out between these stations, and then nobody will be able to know what the weather is," said chief meteorologist Thomas Bogoine.

"We're not out to destroy other station's radar systems. We're out to create weather," said KBUT meteorologist Stan Harvey of their new Stormbringer 7000 system. "Florida gets hurricanes, but we don't get anything like that out here… yet," said Harvey as he grinned evilly. "If all goes as planned there will be a 'Storm of the Century' every week!"

More Tech News

Recommend this Story to a Friend
Previous Story:

BBspot Labs: Microsoft Phaser Mouse
Next Story:

Geek Horoscopes

 
 
RSS Feed Subscribe
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Google Buzz Follow Us on Buzz
Amazon Find the BBook

 

  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

sharepoint survey web part - make money online

Copyright 1999-2011 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.