Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.
The Nigerian Billionaire snags some more...
Sent: Wednesday, November 02, 2005 10:25 AM
Subject: Esenam Ayele
Dear Mr. Briggs,
You wrote a story about a a man named Esenam Ayele who would like to give away money to some American's in need. Please have him contact me because I am in an unberable amount of debt. Over $ 200,000.00 in credit card debt ( I am not working, I have two kids and the phone is ringing off the hook with debtors who want the money that is owed to them) and student loans. If he is looking for someone to show a random act of kindness, I am who he is looking for. I will truly praise God as I do anyway for putting him in a position to give.
Thank you very much for your immediate response.
Esenam truly praises you for putting him in a position to give to you.
Sent: Saturday, November 05, 2005 6:24 AM
Subject: i need help
i need help how can i contact esenam ayele this is what's going on.We are a family of 5 i am a diabetic and i have diabetic nuropathy.Do to my illness we lost are home i have no income my daughter is a dialysis patient we liv 50 miles one way to get my daughter there well the transmission went out in my truck and we are going to be kicked out of the place we are renting. i had to leave my daughter at her Friends house for 2 mounts now cuz i can't get her there i have my 2 boys with me we have not gone food shopping in 4 mounts we are living off of bred and penutbutter i am not the right color to get help from the state white people here not get shit i don't wont to liv on the streets please help me get a hold of Esenam Ayele
please do not put this on the web i have never asked for help before and i am embearest
Esenam Ayele feels for your pain, but he's not a "white people" he can't give to you.
One reader responds to my recent BBlog postings about Tivo and U2...
Sent: Saturday, November 05, 2005 12:44 AM
Subject: TiVo, U2, personals
I love my TiVo. Can't live without it. In fact we (me, husband, two kids, two cats) are in the middle of moving from Los Angeles to Indianapolis -- the truck came and took away all our household goods today, except for the necessities for a week: clothes, Thomas the Tank Engine toys for the kids, our laptops and the TiVo. <TiVo recommendation snipped for brevity's sake>
We are thrilled to hear that you are a U2 fan! We saw them in LA on Wednesday night, and they were fantastic, better than when we saw them in April on the first leg of the tour. The show had a more comfortable and yet more intense flow. They played two of my favorites (Walk On and Bad) so it was a great way to end our life in LA. We really feel good about you being a fellow fan, which brings me to my final topic: after seeing hundreds of those personals/sendups at the top of your site, both my husband and I are beginning to find you strangely attractive. Help!
When I get one email like this, I know there are several hundred others who don't have the courage to speak up. This message goes out to all of you. Don't despair, there is help available. Strange attractions to me are common and can be treated. Doctors are standing by on our hotline and we've set up bbanon.com to help you with your problem. There is hope for all of you!
Several readers wrote in on the continuing debate over the origins of the BBspot name...
Sent: Friday, November 04, 2005 11:18 AM
To: Brian Briggs
Subject: BBSpot Mailbag
I heretofore assumed your web site's name derived from your being an old school modemer who loved weed.
Now that I understand the site's name is most likely based on the initials of your personal name, I must ask, are you married? If not, does this mean that if you do get married, you won't be taking his or her last name as your own, citing the negative marketing impact?
Yes, I am an old school modemer. No, I've never loved nor smoked weed (which is why I called it BBspot instead of BBSpot). No, I didn't take my wife's last name, which is the custom here in my country (BBspotland), so consider me an iconoclast.
Sent: Thursday, November 03, 2005 3:41 PM
Subject: Dammit, Janet!
"One reader wonders what the heck the BB in BBspot means..."
You might be able to throw them off (for awhile) if you change your name to Barry Bostwick... then at least you'd have a plausible explanation for being BBSpotted in garters and stilettos when it's not even Hallowe'en ;)
Stilettos hurt my ankles too much, so I had to stop wearing them, and my skirt always covers my garter, so there's no chance it'd be spotted.
One reader responds to last week's Metallica BBelievers...
Sent: Thursday, November 03, 2005 5:21 PM
Subject: This Weeks's BBspot Mailbag
(In the event that this message is erroneously received by Blog Boy Spot, Basket Ball Spot, Bat Boy Spot, or Balucitherium Bowling spot,
I found something very unusual about one of your Metallica BBelievers, leading me to suspect that you have been misled:
Sent: Wednesday, October 26, 2005 2:24 PM
Subject: metallica album
on one of your sites, you've got an article about a metallica cd called "download this" how come i havent heard a single solitary thing about it.
The strange thing is that while the message is supposedly coming from an AOL user, there are no capital letters! If the message had been genuine, then it should have come in like this:
Sent: Wednesday, October 26, 2005 2:24 PM
To: email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: METALLICA ALBUM
PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME TOO
-- Original Message --
ON ONE OF YOUR SITES, YOU'VE GOT AN ARTICLE ABOUT A METALLICA CD CALLED "DOWNLOAD THIS" HOW COME I HAVENT HEARD A SINGLE SOLITARY THING ABOUT IT.
=End Hypothetical Quote=
(That was an abridged hypothetical quote. A genuine one would have about 50 AOL addresses on the list,
50 ME TOO's, and at the very bottom would be the original message, a "stress test" that asks 'Do you see the two dolphins below?'
with an attached image containing a dolphin and a cow.)
I suspect that someone has phished this poor AOL users's account password in order to... erm... I'm not sure.
AOL keeps talking about protecting their customers from identity theft. I'm hard pressed to think of anyone
who would want other people to think they were an AOL user.
I disagree not all AOL users are idiots who use CAPS LOCK all the time. Some of them are idiots who can't spell. Others are idiots who are gullible. Still others are idiots who use Windows ME. I don't think we should be so narrowminded when we're stereotyping our AOL idiots.
That's all for this week!
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