Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.
The Nigerian Billionaire is making a comeback...
Sent: Wednesday, September 20, 2006 7:32 PM
Subject: Process for contacting Nigerian Philanthropist
Dear Brain Briggs,
upon read your article about the Nigerian Businessman will to help people.
I have a Great need and passion for people and humanity.
What process do I need to go through to apply for assistance from Esenam Ayele
Please forward your information need for this mission. I can be contacted through Email or Home Contact
<name, address, and phone number snipped>
Please feel to contact in anyway or anytime convenient
I Thank you in advance for forwarding this information to the correct persons.
The next day I get some forwarded spam from this woman about God with animated GIFs of hearts. Fearing the wrath of God and more spam from her, I replied politely. She didn't quite understand that Esenam Ayele didn't exist...
Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2006 9:09 AM
To: Brian Briggs
Subject: RE: Process for contacting Nigerian Philanthropist
So are you telling me he as a scammer and don't waste my time? I have a lot of people depending on me to complete this mission. Thank you for your reply.
I will be here if you have any information getting this type of support please contact me.
Given her acumen, I have a feeling there will be a lot of disappointed people. She wasn't the only Esenam BBeliever this week...
Sent: Friday, September 22, 2006 6:39 PM
Subject: Re: your article on Nigerian Billionaire
Hi my name is Mary and I was just reading your story on Esenam Ayele from Lagos, Nigeria. Would you have his e-mail address by any chance? I would like to get in touch with him.
I should've put her in touch with Julie.
In the running saga Ewoks on a Deathstar that started two Mailbags ago, and continued last week. The original emailer responds ...
Sent: Wednesday, September 20, 2006 10:44 AM
Subject: Geek test!
Could it be a coincidence that the same weekend I saw a rerun of Newsradio where Jimmy James catches Dave out twice as a geek, your pal and now mine goes and gits hissef splashed wit' da same soup?
Any REAL SW fan would agree that M****r F****n Ewoks on a M****r F****n Deathstar could only have helped AotC, just as Mace gone gonzo on their fuzzy little keesters would've lent a few more minutes of genuine entertainment to episode VI (which I saw in Manhattan, for some reason...). Oh, the tribbles and tribblations I cause...
One reader responds to this week's Poll about the death of Popeye...
Sent: Saturday, September 23, 2006 7:48 PM
Did you hear what happened when Jimmy Swaggart went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap out of him.
One reader wonders about the results of his White and Nerdy quiz...
Sent: Monday, September 25, 2006 5:33 PM
Subject: How white and nerdy are you?
Quick question... if I'm 40% white and nerdy, does that mean I'm 60% black and cool, or 60% just plain white. I only ask because I need to fill out my Financial Aid application....
The other 60% is just empty space.
The winner of this year's Geek Limerick contest has volunteered to write a weekly limerick for BBspot. I haven't decided where to put it yet, so this week's I'll put in the Mailbag...
First Mel Gibson speaks ill of the Jews,
Now his scorn for the war's in the news.
He's no fan of the British,
The gays make him skittish.
There's just one thing he likes, and that's booze.
That's all for this week!
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