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On November 18, 2006 the first game of the century since the last one will take place in Columbus, Ohio. The #1 OSU Buckeyes versus #2 Michigan Wolverines. Now most experts do in-depth analysis of the teams to come up with a winner. However, their picks are no better than a monkey throwing darts at a random number generator. We think we can do better than that by comparing some other factors that have nothing to do with the game at all.
This is a completely unbiased analysis of the game. (Editor's Note: Brian is University of Michigan alumni with season tickets who lives two miles from the Big House. His wife is also an alum and works for U of M hospital. His kids could sing "Hail to the Victors" very early in life. His eyes are blue. He thinks Ohio stinks. )
Worst BMI
Which team has the player with the worst body mass index number?
 Ohio State - Juan Garnier, Defensive Line, 6'4", 315 pounds, BMI=38.3
Michigan - Jason Kates, Defensive Tackle, 6'3", 352 pounds. BMI=44
Advantage - In this case lower is better, OSU.
Official Athletic Site
 ohiostatebuckeyes.cstv.com - A pop-up laden monstrosity run by CBS. They can't even run their own site?
mgoblue.com - Great URL, good content, with no pop-ups.
Advantage - Michigan
Annoying Fans
Ohio State - Insist on correcting people who say Ohio State University by saying "THE" Ohio State University.
Michigan - Insist on correcting people who say that Michigan's colors are Blue and Yellow by saying "It's Maize and Blue."
Advantage - Tie
Google Fights
The best two out of three wins...
The ohio state university graduates more rapists than anybody else - 79,700 results
The University of Michigan graduates more rapists than anybody else - 48,500 results
Winner: Michigan
The Ohio State University is destroying the ozone layer - 138,000
The University of Michigan is destroying the ozone layer - 134,000
Winner: Michigan
The Ohio State University loves America. - 1,240,000
The University of Michigan loves America - 1,310,000
Winner: Michigan
Advantage: Michigan
Famous Alumni
Let's compare a random selection of notable alumni for each university's Wikipedia page.
Ohio State - Judith Miller, Bruce Vilanch, R. L. Stine,
Michigan - Iggy Pop, James Earl Jones, Arthur Miller
Advantage: Michigan
Mascots
Ohio State - Brutus Buckeye, a person with a nut for a head.
Michigan - None
Sometimes nothing is better than something. This is one of those times...
Advantage: Michigan
Eight-Sided Die - Best of 11
Roll an eight-sided die eleven times.
Ohio State - 1, 2, 3, 4
Michigan - 5, 6, 7, 8
Results: 4-8-8-3-5-1-5-3-6-1-3
Advantage: Ohio State
Conclusions
The University of Michigan wins the competition 4-2 with 1 tie thus they will win the game on Saturday by a score of 21-17.
See our other showdowns.
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Firefox Vs. Internet Explorer
Bush Vs. Kerry
Radeon X800 Vs. GeFORCE 6800
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Windows 2000 Vs. Linux
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