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Thursday, August 30 12:00 AM ET

Yoko Ono Blamed for iTunes-Beatles Break Up

By Brian Briggs

New York – Many Beatles fans blame Yoko Ono for the break up of the band, and now they have something else to blame her for.

Beatles fans have been hoping that the band's songs would eventually be released on Apple's iTunes Music Store.  Rumors have persisted that Apples upcoming announcement will include The Beatles music.  Unfortunately, Yoko Ono has once again caused the deal to collapse.

"We didn't think that Yoko had any rights left to The Beatles music, but her lawyers found a clause in an old contract that lets her scuttle the deal," said one Apple attorney familiar with the negotiations.

Fans were upset by the news. "I can't believe she'd do this," said one distraught fan.  "Now I'll never be able to listen to The Beatles on my iPod."

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Instead Apple will announce a new collection of songs from Beatles impersonation and cover bands.  "We've got Alice Cooper, Nicole Scherzinger, and others doing some Beatles songs, as well as the great Beatles impersonators, The Electric Beatle Boys.  It's not The Beatles, but it should satisfy fans," said an Apple representative who wished to remain anonymous.

In addition, a new version of iTunes that will crash "10% less than previous versions" will also be announced. 

Neither Yoko nor her representatives gave any reason for stopping the deal.  When contacted about this report, Yoko screeched incomprehensibly into her iPhone.
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