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Monday, August 25 12:00 AM ET

Jerry Seinfeld vs. John Hodgman and Justin Long

By Brian Briggs

It has been reported that Jerry Seinfeld has been tapped to be the new spokesperson for Microsoft's Windows Vista. His main adversaries the Mac and PC guys from the Apple ads, Justin Long and John Hodgman, have a big headstart on him. Seinfeld hasn't even done an ad yet, but that hasn't stopped us before. Here we breakdown the showdown between these spokespersons in a head-to-head comparison of some relevant and not so relevant categories.

Mac and PCNotable Movie Appearances

Jerry Seinfeld - Bee Movie

Long and Hodgman - Galaxy Quest (Long), Baby Momma (Hodgman)

This is a tough one, but Galaxy Quest quest more than balances out Baby Momma to give the Mac-PC guys the edge.

Advantage - Long and Hodgman

SeinfeldBest Anagram

Jerry Seinfeld - IF SLY JEER NERD

Justin Long, John Hodgman - John's jangling hot mound

BBspot is a geek site not a gay porn site, so Seinfeld wins this one.

Advantage - Seinfeld

Google Fights

We compare these spokespeople with some randomly generated phrases to see which comes out on top...

The best two out of three wins...

Jerry Seinfeld sells more computer - 42,800 results

John Hodgman and Justin Long sell more computers - 6,700 results

Google thinks Seinfeld will be a better seller than even Costanza.

Winner: Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld just stole your girlfriend - 6,600

Justin Long and John Hodgman just stole your girlfriend - 158

If you want her to be faithful then only watch the Apple ads...

Winner: Long and Hodgman

Jerry Seinfeld can run faster than Usain Bolt - 163

Jerry SeinfeldJustin Long and John Hodgman can run faster than Usain Bolt - 1

Speed is very important in a pitchman...

Winner: Seinfeld

Advantage: Seinfeld

Mac and PCCool Factor

Jerry Seinfeld - 20%

Long and Hodgman - 65%

Advantage: Long and Hodgman

Mac and PCFavorite Superhero

Seinfeld - Superman

Long and Hodgman - John McClane / Superhobo

Advantage - Long and Hodgman

Virtual Coin Flip - Best of 11

Mac and PCThe virtual coin flipper was used at random.org. I chose the US fifty-cent piece.

Seinfeld - Heads

Long and Hodgman - Tails

Results: T-H-H-T-H-H-T-H-T-T-T

Advantage: Long and Hodgman

Conclusions

Losing this battle 4-2 doesn't bode well for Jerry Seinfeld. Can he overcome these hurdles to propel Windows Vista ahead of the Mac? Wait, isn't Windows Vista already ahead of the Mac? Never mind then. I'm sure he'll do just fine.

 

See our other showdowns.

Ubuntu Vs. Vista

iPod Vs. Zune

Firefox Vs. Internet Explorer

Bush Vs. Kerry

Radeon X800 Vs. GeFORCE 6800

and

Windows 2000 Vs. Linux

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