Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.
A new story about the Nigerian billionaire Esenam Ayele and his MySpace profile receives another load of messages. Surprised? I'm not...
Dear Mr Ayele
I read your article about helping people that in need. I am very much in need. Please can you help me with a $5,000. If you would like for me to pay it back i can. I would appreciate your help. I love where i stay and i don't want to be but out of my apartment or loss my car. You can reach me at email address(email@example.com) or call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx. I know this is long distance but please help me.
I do not know if your organization is in fact real but I am in need of some help. I have some bills to pay and I see no out to my problems......it is not a huge amount and I wouldnt ever ask for alot just to get me even and not struggle anymore.....
please respond either way thank you
HELLO MR AYELE ,
HOW DO YOU DO ?AS YOU ALREADY KNOW AM ALSO A MEMBER OF MYSPACE. COM AND AM INTRIGUED AND FASCINATED BY YOUR PROFOUND WORK AND PROFILE .GOD BLESS YOU A GREAT DEAL SIR .
I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI,BCOS AM SO PROUD OF YOU AS A FELLOW NIGERIAN AS WELL .
Let me guess, you want my bank account information?
my names is xxxxxxx a black african american of 20 years old. these last few years of my life has been but of the least bit of normal. As growing up in maryland having to move from washington living with my 3 siblings my sexuality has literally thrown me into a life of hate and conflics from my family. I have developed some type exiety which stops me from doing day to day things. I think a nice donation that wud move me from my disfuctional household woukld really boost my confedince in life ..... please respond Thank You.
Money can solve a lot of problems I guess.
Date: Sat, Sep 20, 2008 at 2:24 AM
Subject: RE: YOUR ARTICLE
Hey, I want to invest in real estate and buy a nice home for me and my family to live in. I dont have a sad story even though I can give you a true one. If it is true about Esenam Ayele Please tell me how to ask or sign up.
I want to invest so i can make money and also have a home for me, my husband, 4 kids and my elderly aunt and grandma. I cant do it on my own but will be self sufficient to take care of all if I get 12 million is it??? Well, Your article was well written, I read 2 versions.
Please let me know if it was all bullshit or is there anyone who can do it for real. I dont mind paying back once i generate it.
More suggestions for movie marathons, I think everything has been suggested, but if you have another idea, let me know...
Date: Mon, Sep 22, 2008 at 12:25 PM
Subject: Movie Marathon
History shows again and again
How nature points up the folly of men
What are there? 20 or so Godzilla movies not to mention the animated series. The Godzilla movies lend themselves to viewing in 3 separate marathons based on era.
All twenty in a row might be require me to invest in the caffeine I.V. I've been looking at on eBay.
Date: Sun, Sep 21, 2008 at 11:22 PM
What, no Babylon 5?
This one would be fun, but having just gone through all five years of B5, it might be too soon for me.
Date: Fri, Sep 19, 2008 at 8:12 PM
Subject: Movie Marathon
You could do a Mel Brooks movie marathon.
This could be fun, though the geek factor is a little spotty.
Date: Thu, Sep 18, 2008 at 10:31 AM
Subject: Re: movie marathon suggestion
To: Brian Briggs <firstname.lastname@example.org>
You could do a Phillip K. Dick marathon:
Blade Runner, Total Recall, Screamers, Imposter, Minority Report,
Paycheck, A Scanner Darkly, and Next.
The geek factor in this one is high. I see a Dick marathon in my future. I sure hope Google doesn't find this page.
Date: Wed, Sep 17, 2008 at 12:47 PM
Subject: Movie marathon???
A suggestion for another movie marathon.
There are only 5 of them, but for a lot of people it may be 4 too many. Anyway, all 5 Highlander movies. The original movie is my personal favorite movie of all time, that doesn't necessarily make it any good. 2 was one of the worst movies of all time. 3 was OK. 4 was pretty good. 5 ranks right up there with 2 (in other words very rank).
Anyway you look at it there should be enough head chopping to satisfy anyone in there.
Let's throw in some Uwe Boll movies and I might need to call 911.
Date: Wed, Sep 17, 2008 at 3:23 AM
Subject: Another looong TV marathon
To: Brian Briggs <email@example.com>
I've heard that "Dr Who" is kinda old, it's bound to fill hours of TV watching.
Ok, maybe that's not exactly what you're after; but if you do watch
it, please tell me if it's any good, I'm curious.
I think Doctor Who would have to be a greatest hits marathon otherwise I might miss my kids' graduations. It is available on Netflix streaming though, so it has a cost factor that I can deal with.
So send me more suggestions, or your thoughts on which one I should do next.
Worst Book Ever
In a BBlog posting last week, I wrote about my feelings on the Twilight series of books. I didn't speak too kindly of it as the title suggests. In last week's Mailbag one BBspotter said I should watch out for the evil Stephenie Meyer. Another reader takes issue with my claim that it's the worst book I've ever read...
Date: Wed, Sep 17, 2008 at 12:56 AM
I don't really read the blog much, but... Twilight? You read that? Hahahahahahaha. Hey, if you read the third book, would you tape yourself reading the second part? Apparently, watching someone read it is a bit like watching someone being exposed to "2 girls, 1 cup" for the first time. I don't want to read it because the summaries were more than enough for me, but if someone else is going to, I'd love to watch them.
(Also... From all I've heard, Stephanie Meyer must be protected from meanies like you who would criticize her totally awesome books about true love and sparkles, so I don't think
True love and sparkles, the only way to go through life.
Date: Thu, Sep 18, 2008 at 9:16 PM
Subject: Worst book ever?
Claiming Twilight is the worst book you've ever read is a pretty
strong statement. Here are some contenders that I think would give it
a run for its money:
-Eragon, etc. "ZOMG, you know what would be WAY cooler than Tolkien?
Tolkien with DRAGONS!"
-The Left Behind series. I listened to these on tape during a road
trip when I was 11 and still thought they were abysmal.
-The DaVinci Code. This book is so hateable that hating it has become cliche.
And my personal choice for worst book ever:
-Artemis Fowl. The main (male, human, present-day) character is named
Artemis Fowl. The Second. That should be all you need to know.
A lineup like this makes a Uwe Boll marathon look fun.
An Uwe Boll marathon just might break me. As for the books, I value my time, so I screen my books, so I rarely read stinkers. Eragon falls into that category. I've never read The Left Behind series either (never even heard of it). I have read The DaVinci Code, but while I didn't like it, it was just derivative not evil. We listened to the Artemis Fowl books, and I liked them. What's the worst book you've ever read? Let me know.
The winner of the 2003 and 2006 Geek Limerick contest has volunteered to write a weekly limerick for BBspot. Seth also has a new book out that you should take a look at...
Seth has been sending over limericks for many weeks without any Mailbag. Thanks to him you've got many to enjoy now...
Sarah Palin is mad at the brat
Who "hacked" into her email chat
As if she'd left the surety
Of government security,
But what kind of Yahoo would do that?
So her password was easy to switch.
Having her emails seen made her twitch.
Yet she'd like all the Feds
To have your emails read.
I guess pre-emptive payback's a bitch.