Louisville, KY - Newly hired IT support desk worker Alvin Symons was disciplined today after misunderstanding the true meaning of "Cyber Monday."
Symons, who has been out of the workforce for many years, solicited sex chat from many employees before manager Chris Evans called Symons into his office and talked to him about it.
Evans confronted Symons after being solicited by Symons on the company's internal chat network. "He must've been just using the directory and contacting everyone who could possibly be female," said Evans. "I need to put Christopher in there so this doesn't happen again. It's an understandable misunderstanding for someone so socially inept, so I only made him do sensitivity training."
Symons was upset. "How was I supposed to know that they weren't talking about sex chat? I haven't worked with other people for years. To me when you say 'cyber' it only means one thing. I thought it was weird that it was sanctioned by the company, but who am I to argue?" said Symons.
According Harold Stephens at Challenger, Gray and Christmas, a nationwide executive outplacement firm, incidents like this happen every year. “Last year there were thirteen reported events of employees confused by 'Cyber Monday.' We've urged media outlets to use 'Internet Shopping Monday' or 'Don't Be a Pervert, Just Shop Online Day,' but Cyber Monday has taken root in the American lexicon.”
Cindy Flackert, one of the women “cybered” by Symons said. "It was way too creepy for me. I mean, I do that kind of thing in Warcraft, but at work? No way, well, unless I'm playing Warcraft at work."
Three-time sex offender Symons said that despite the disappointment about Cyber Monday he's still happy with the new job, "At least there's still 'casual sex Fridays'."