BBspot
/About /Main /Help Us /Log /Advertise /FAQs
/Archives /BBloopers /Discussion /Contact /Archives /BBshop
Super Bowl Winner?
Archives
 
BBlog
Happy Thanksgiving and a BBeliever Daily Links - 11/10/11 Daily Links - 11/2/11
BBloopers
Fun at Sea
Football Fans
Great College
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
PC Weenies
The Neverending Story
Gratuity Not Included
Uptime Downtime
Geek Horoscopes
Random Geek Horoscopes
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Recommended
Fark
[H]ard Folding Team
The Toque
Worth 1000
Joe the Peacock
PC Weenies
Mental Floss
Smashing Games
Free Codecs
SlushFactory
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
I-Mockery
Um... Things
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Wednesday, December 10 2:00 PM EDT

Privately Managed Jail Starts Perks For Perps Prisoner Reward Program

By Brian Briggs

Leavenworth, KS - Federal Prisons Management Inc. (FPMI), a privately owned and operated prison management company, has started a Perks for Perps program, which gives prisoners the opportunity to earn rewards for committing crimes and staying at their prisons.

Why is this man smiling?
He's got the Perks for Perps card, and he's going to earn a lot of free nights.

FPMI’s CEO Cynthia Gezon said, “We started this program, because of our low prisoner retention ratio. Our market research showed that many of our prisoners spent time at non-FPMI prisons. We think this program will build brand loyalty.”

Gezon also cited research that showed prisoners prefer Perks for Perps over California’s Three Strikes program by a 5-1 margin.

Serial killer Wade Hampton, who is serving twelve consecutive life sentences, was excited about the new program, “I calculated that after about thirty-four years I’ll have enough Perp Points for a trip to the gas chamber!”

Prisoners can also use points for extended stays at FPMI facilities or upgrades from solitary to D-block or even C-block.

Linus Cho earned 5,000 bonus points for carjacking a rental car from Avis. “With the carjacking points and my 10,000 ‘turn-yourself-in’ reward I’ve got enough for three-year stay,” said a jubilant Cho.

Other rewards include upgrades from solitary confinement to D-block, and extra nights free. Prisoners who stay for three years get a fourth year free.

Capital One has partnered with FPMI and released a co-branded Visa card, which criminals can earn a point for every dollar of credit card fraud they commit.

Related News

Ryder Vows to Find Real Shoplifters

New Law Protects Free Speech

Sony Lobbies for Ban on Markers

Sam Otto, who robbed liquor stores for years, has switched to credit card fraud to amass points. “I have 12,000 points saved up from my stay in Oakdale, but I’d like to spend a few years in Leavenworth,” he said.

Some prisoners don’t like some of the limits of the program. “I’m a bit pissed the points are nontransferable,” said inmate Frenchie LaCroix. “I tried to get them a transfer from this maximum security prison to a work release program, but they said that violated their blackout rules.”

More News

Recommend this Story to a Friend

Previous Story:

RFID Tag Technology Confirms One-Fruitcake Theory
Next Story:

Other Computer Terms Banned by Los Angeles County

 
 
RSS Feed Subscribe
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Google Buzz Follow Us on Buzz
Amazon Find the BBook

 

  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

sharepoint survey web part - make money online

Copyright 1999-2011 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.