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Wednesday, July 9 12:01 AM EST

BBspot Mailbag

Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.

Believers

I never thought this story would receive a believer e-mail...

From: info@xxxxxx.us
Sent: Thursday, July 03, 2003 3:31 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Gamer Missing from Online Clan (article)

Dear Brian,

I found your article by searching on google. We are interested in bringing more gaming clans to our gaming café in xxxxxx, Ohio. Please let me know if you can get me in touch with members mentioned in your article or maybe you can help us find gaming clans and members using your resources.

Thank you.
Paul
General Manager

I told him I'd see what I could do.

I love the quotes on this discussion board about our story on underclocking...

hehe! they call underclocking a talent. oh look at me!!! i'm the Utimate Underclocker! i reduced my computer so slow i can write fast then it can process! bunch of moron. that's like buying a Viper and putting a Geo Metro 0.8 Litre engine in it.

Plenty more here.

Yeah those underclockers sure are morons!

Next a reader from France wonders about the veracity of BBspot stories...

From: xxxxxx@xxxxxx.fr]
Sent: Monday, July 07, 2003 6:02 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Hello

I have a question. I just want to know if in your news there is a part of true or not (completly imagined).For spider man 2, shakira's ass $12 million, DVD self destructive, and the faming bush Universal Time Zone; I understand that is satirical but is there a part of true ?

Thank

(i have fun to read you)

This reader is too genuine to make fun of, sorry.

Let's Go Googling

How do people find BBspot? Many discover the site through various search engines, and I'm sure a lot of them are surprised with what they find here...

It's summertime! Time to take a vacation and spend some of that hard-earned money. Maybe a long weekend to Las Vegas, or possibly Hollywood to see some movie stars, or maybe even New York for the Statue of Liberty.

It'll be hot one so be sure to pack your good T-shirts and not your evil ones. And, if you're driving drink some coffee so you don't doze off at the wheel. Don't make it too strong though. If you've sworn off caffeine like me, you could listen to some tunes to keep those eyelids open.

If you decide to stay at home, maybe you can do a bit of redecorating, or just go sit in a nice cool theater and watch a good movie, a bad one, or one so bad it's good. If the heat doesn't bother you, you could go out and play some sports, like boxing or shoot the neighbor.

As for me I'm going to head out to Seattle, but I'm a bit embarrassed to tell you why. I'm not going out to do any protesting and I don't need to "find myself." I'm looking for someone, because I have something for him that can only be given in person. All right, that sounds like too much work, maybe I'll just stay home and read a book or something.

Bad RIAA

Some stories just don't fit in well in the regular rotation of BBspot stories, but are still worth perusing...

RIAA Decides to Sue Everyone Else
Too Just for the Heck of It

By Bill L

WASHINGTON — The embattled music industry disclosed plans Wednesday for an unprecedented escalation in its fight against Internet piracy, threatening to sue hundreds of millions of individual computer users who may or may not be doing something illegal. The Recording Industry Association of America , citing significant sales declines, said it will begin Thursday to search local phone books to identify the remaining US residents who they have not yet sued. "We must protect our rights: the rights of rock stars to be millionaires, the rights of lawyers to collect their 1/3 of all recovered damages, and my right to have a timeshare in the Hamptons" pointed out Cary Sherman, the RIAA’s president.

It expects to file at least several hundred million lawsuits seeking financial damages within eight to 10 weeks.

The recording industry, facing mounting financial difficulties over its decisions to release overpriced CD after overpriced CD of indistinguishable female pop divas and interchangeable boy bands figure these measures will be an affective way to bolster lagging profits. "Reducing a corporation's quarterly profits is practically equivalent is stealing, which is both wrong and illegal," Sherman said. "We are taking these steps to make sure our profits remain strong, even if our sales remain in the toilet."

Sherman said hundreds of millions of users of popular file-sharing software, Internet users in general, as well as non-Internet users, will expose themselves to "the real risk of having to cough up serious green one way or another; either in the record stores or in the courtroom."

US citizens seem to be taking the announcement in stride. Walking his dog in Davenport, Iowa, Mark Banselmi was planning cough up all the dough the RIAA demanded because of the new lawsuit threat. Although he doesn't even own a CD player and has never heard of mp3s or DivX, he agreed that illegal downloads should be curtailed, copyrights protected, and the RIAA should be able to sue whoever it wants for however much it wants..

"Please just don't drag me into court, I could never afford the legal fees. I have $12.65 on me, will that do?"

Country songwriter Jack Duffy, who has worked with Randy Travis, Trisha Yearwood and Jimmy Buffett, likened the RIAA's effort to a police barricade looking for drunk drivers on a busy highway.

"If you assume that everyone is guilty, you're sure to catch the guilty ones. And assuming that everyone is guilty is what this country is all about," Prestwood said.

Critics accused the RIAA of resorting to heavy-handed tactics likely to alienate millions of American citizens. "This latest tactic shows that contrary to what we have all believed all these years, the recording industry isn't made up a die-hard music fans simply trying to share with the world the latest creations of dedicated musicians. Instead it turns out that they're just a bunch of slimy manipulators and coke fiends who are only it for the money,"" said Fred Lehman, a lawyer for the Internet Frontier Foundation. "Today the recording industry has declared war on the American consumer."

The Bush administration applauded the announcement. White House spokesman Ari Fleischer at his daily press briefing reported that "The country hasn't had a war in over three weeks. We are happy to announce the opening of the War on Consumers which we are sure to win just as easily as we won the War on Drugs. " When it was pointed out to Fleischer that drug use in the US remains about as high as it was at the outset of the War on Drugs despite billions of dollars spent and thousands of lives ruined and that a ban on file swapping will likely have similarly catastrophic results, Fleischer remarked "no comment."

That's all for this week!

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