BBspot


Archives
 
BBlog
Happy Thanksgiving and a BBeliever Daily Links - 11/10/11 Daily Links - 11/2/11
BBloopers
Fun at Sea
Football Fans
Great College
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
PC Weenies
The Neverending Story
Gratuity Not Included
Uptime Downtime
Geek Horoscopes
Random Geek Horoscopes
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Recommended
Fark
[H]ard Folding Team
The Toque
Worth 1000
Joe the Peacock
PC Weenies
Mental Floss
Smashing Games
Free Codecs
SlushFactory
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
I-Mockery
Um... Things
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Thursday,  August 14 12:01 AM EDT

Third Moon of Oprah Discovered

By Brian Briggs

Chicago, IL - Astronomers announced that they have discovered a third moon orbiting talk show host Oprah Winfrey.

Oprah sucks."At first we thought it was a comet orbiting the earth, but it had some strange wobbles in its orbit. We put a GPS collar on Oprah to track her movements for a weekend and we were able to reconcile the data with the eccentricities of the orbit," said University of Chicago Professor of Astrophysics Newton Gramler.

The number of moons orbiting Oprah fluctuates as her gravitational pull strengthens and weakens. Gramler reported that at one point in 1989 when she was really heavy she had twelve, but only "three moons are in a permanent orbit. They cannot escape."

"Other celebrities get stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame," said Oprah, "But none of them have as many moons as I do."

The team of astrophysicists has counseled Oprah on weight loss lest one of the moons breaks out of orbit at the wrong time and slams into the earth causing a major catastrophe.

The first moon of Oprah, Ronaldo was discovered in early 1986. The second, Corpulus was found in 1993 both have remained in orbit since capture by Oprah's gravitational pull. Astronomers have called the third moon Globula.

Related News

Astronomers Discover Another Space Blob

Overclocker Creates Rift in the Space-Time Continuum

Mir Destroys Taco Bell, Kills Four

Audience members were excited by the news. "I hope she gives a moon to every audience member. I'd love a moon from Oprah!" gushed Cynthia Walcot from Buffalo Grove, Illinois.

"I knew it," yelled one Jerry Springer fan, "Oprah SUCKS!"

More News

Recommend this Story to a Friend

Previous Story:

Microsoft to Continue Rolling Blackouts Until Blaster Worm Eradicated
Next Story:

California Governor Candidate Guide

 
 
RSS Feed Subscribe
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Google Buzz Follow Us on Buzz
Amazon Find the BBook

 

  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

sharepoint survey web part - make money online

Copyright 1999-2011 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.