Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.
The Nigerian billionaire snags a couple more...
Sent: Saturday, May 14, 2005 1:23 AM
Subject: Esenam Ayele
Hi, my name is Ryan and I am trying to get the money to start my own business and am having a hard time getting the capitol for start-up. My problem is that I can’t afford another monthly payment so a business loan is out of the question. I have been searching for another way to come up with the money necessary to fulfill my dream of being my own boss. Then I came across your story about Mr. Ayele. I thought since I was having trouble finding money and he is having trouble finding people who will take him up on his generosity maybe there is a possibility that we could help each other out. If you could either forward this to him or reply to me and let me know how to contact him I would be very thankful.
My e-mail is email@example.com
I don't think Ryan's story is quite pathetic enough. How about this one...
Sent: Tuesday, May 17, 2005 10:46 AM
Subject: Esenam Ayele
If Mr Ayele is truly for real, you could send him my e-mail. With what I am currentally going through my life has almost been shattered. I currentally have no job, this is an AOL free trial. See I'm a witness to two different trials for the same person. A federal agency told me to apply for help from another federal agency, the crime victoms advocy, because the money problems I have came from the defendant in the trials, but the CVA has decided that my problems are not the direct cause of a crime. As to the nature of the crimes, I'm unable to state untill after both trials have been held. There is one trial comming up this month, and another in July. By this time next month I will be homeless. If it were just me, I'd pack up and leave, but I've 2 children to take care of. A 16yr old, and an 8yr old. I do have the orginal clipping from the second newspaper story about this, it was on page four of the Press Enterprise, a local newspaper, on Friday August 13 of 2004. All I'm looking for is a fresh start on all of the bills that I had been told were paid and weren't. This includes rent, and all utilities. Thank you for any help you can provide.
Let me guess, it's a Nigerian spammer trial.
One reader doesn't think that Bill Gates said that Linux is best...
Sent: Saturday, May 21, 2005 11:20 PM
Subject: Bill Gates said "linux is the best"
Can you send me references to prove this. Thank you.
I told her all the proof was in the BBspot article.
And lastly, one reader is a borderline Believer. He doesn't think it's true, but he wants to email just to make sure...
Sent: Tuesday, May 24, 2005 8:50 AM
Subject: Fengtek Releases Motherboard Designed Using Feng Shui Principles
This a joke right? No way that’s really a board...
It's not a real board... yet!
Several readers have emailed asking where all the misappropriated Star Wars quotes came from...
From: Werner Kristian
Sent: Thursday, May 19, 2005 6:11 AM
Subject: Misappropriated SW Quotes
I'm getting about half of these - will there be a "correct answers key" at some points or just hints?
For Episode I:
11. Rocky Horror Picture Show
10. Life of Brian
8. Pulp Fiction
7. The Cable Guy
6. The Usual Suspects
5. Raiders of the Lost Ark
4.Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
3. Fight Club
2. Napoleon Dynamite
For Episode II:
11. The Big Lebowski
9. American Pie
8. The Princess Bride
7. Office Space
6. Escape from LA
5. Wizard of Oz
4. Pulp Fiction
3. The Big Lebowski
2. Life of Brian
1. The Princess Bride
Now we know for sure that Microsoft engineers read BBspot...
Sent: Wednesday, May 11, 2005 9:59 AM
Subject: BBspot predictions coming true?
While reading an article on eWeek, I followed the link to a screen shot of the "Red Screen of Death" in Longhorn.
Seems the Microsoft blogger is a fan of BBspot, since he mentions and links to your future predictions for Microsoft over the next 25 years. Egads, maybe some strategic planner at Microsoft looked at your ideas, and are trying to make them come true?
Everything has gone downhill for TechTV ever since the merger with G4, one reader has a solution..
Sent: Wednesday, April 27, 2005 8:02 PM
Subject: Office Jesus
I thought you'd be pleased (sarcasm) to know that G4 TV's "Attack of the Show" was using your Office Jesus joke without crediting you.
Your article is brilliant, and it pisses me off that these fucking hacks are using it.
My proposal: You. Me. Fast car. Thermite. We drive to their offices and burn the fuck out of those worthless 'tards. I hate them with a passion, and would like nothing more then to see them wear their tiny balls as hats for a day.
I'm babbling and enraged. Forgive me.
One consolation is that only about six people saw it on G4.
That's all for this week!
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