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Thursday, October 13 12:00 AM ET

Microsoft to Release Bug.NET

By MasterMind Hazord

Redmond, WA. - Microsoft announced an upcoming release of long-awaited Bug.NET

"I'm not talking about the bugs that are disguised as features, nor am I talking about the bugs that are inefficient," Microsoft's CEO Steve Ballmer said. "I am talking about more sophisticated bugs, that are platform independent, easily implemented and based on objects. Recursive, inherited, multithreaded - you name it, and our .NET framework just does the rest"

With Microsoft's new Bug.NET framework, all bugs will be defined as objects, with their own individual methods and properties. Because of the new .NET concept, it will be possible to port most bugs to other operating systems such as UNIX or BSD, and even different architectures, such as RISC or even 64- bit processors.

"Little endian, big endian - nobody will have to worry about that ever again - your bugs will simply work under any system" - Ballmer assured, showing the same bug running simultaneously both on a Windows PC and on Apple's OS X.

There is some skepticism, however.

"The code has to be slower," an anonymous bugware developer posted on usenet. "I can't imagine any framework which works faster and more efficiently than a well-crafted ASM bug."

"Yes, the bugs will be a bit slower," Ballmer admitted, "but with the enormous computing power nowadays, the slowdown will not be noticeable by the average user. With sophisticated and efficient bugs you might still use the assembly language, but that is almost obsolete. Bug.NET framework will introduce incredible flexibility with only 10% performance loss."

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Among the other features, the bugs will be self-documented. This new insight from Microsoft is quite unexpected, as it shows that the archvillain of the open-source community is starting to go along the GNU path.

There are rumors in the Linux community that at least a part of the newest Linux kernel will be rewritten in Bug.NET

Linus Torvalds was not available for comment.

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