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Metallica’s New Album is Napster-Proof

  • Post author:Brian Briggs
  • Post published:June 4, 2000
  • Post category:Tech News
  • Post comments:0 Comments

Los Angeles, CA - Metallica released their long awaited "Download This" CD today, and the band declared it Napster-proof.  The 74 minute CD contains one 55 minute song, "Napster Begone"…

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New Ford Exorbitant Comes With Spare Explorer

  • Post author:Brian Briggs
  • Post published:June 1, 2000
  • Post category:Business News
  • Post comments:0 Comments

Detroit, MI - Ford Motor Company announced today the new Ford Exorbitant.  The Ford Exorbitant seats 50 comfortably, and even comes with a spare Ford Explorer.  The Exorbitant, built on…

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Overclocker Creates Rift in Space-Time Continuum

  • Post author:Brian Briggs
  • Post published:May 23, 2000
  • Post category:Tech News
  • Post comments:0 Comments

Santa Cruz, CA - A rift in the space-time continuum was created today when overclocker Jamie Aperman ran a 750 MHz Coppermine Pentium III at 1.6 GHz.  Overclocking has long…

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Office Jesus Turns Water Into Coffee

  • Post author:Brian Briggs
  • Post published:May 11, 2000
  • Post category:Business News
  • Post comments:0 Comments

Lufkin, TX -  The workers of Selby Communications are happy once again this morning, as their Office Jesus worked his miracles with the coffee machine. Every morning for the past…

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Linux Kernel Delayed By Microsoft’s Army of Evil Monkeys

  • Post author:Brian Briggs
  • Post published:May 4, 2000
  • Post category:Tech News
  • Post comments:0 Comments

Around the World - Linus Torvalds announced yesterday that the Linux Kernel 2.4 will be delayed. He blamed the delay on interference from Microsoft's Army of Evil Monkeys.  The army…

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Microsoft Purchase Evil from Satan

  • Post author:Brian Briggs
  • Post published:April 5, 2000
  • Post category:Tech News
  • Post comments:0 Comments

Redmond, WA - Microsoft purchased evil from Satan for $2.7 billion after many months of tough negotiations. "We've been after Satan for some time," said CEO Steve Ballmer. "Negotiations were tough,…

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