Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without
the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing
because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of
the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just
Many people came out in support of the Universal
Time Zone. This guy isn't so sure what to make of it, but
he sure is polite...
Sent: Monday, June 09, 2003 12:29 PM
Subject: Bush's UTZ
I must say this was very funny, however, I would like to
know if there is any more to this fictitous story. I have a
feeling im missing the punch line unless its just that Bush
is an idiot. But, if you claim this article true, could you
please refer me to your source of information for further reading?
Thank you, James
Yes, James, there is a Universal Time Zone. You also might
want to check out the news about the Vice-president.
The Matrix rip-off
article bags another one...
Sent: Wednesday, June 04, 2003 6:24 PM
Subject: Matrix article
I totally don't get your article about the Matrix Reloaded
ripping off the original Matrix movie. Reloaded "is" a
sequel to the Matrix. It "is" a Matrix 2 movie. It
just doesn't use the boring sequel name of adding a 2 to the
end of the original name. There are a ton of movie sequels
that do this..... That said, of course there are going to be
a ton of similarities to the original. It is the sequel and
should have the same look and feel. I love it and am looking
forward to the next Matrix movie......
Thank you very much for the explanation. <smacks forehead>
A TiVo fan wonders if the new TiVoGAL
feature uses language that is age appropriate....
actually sends a message that uses the word . . . "lard-ass" on
Be careful you might choke on the irony in this next message board
post from a bunch of angry Shakira fans who didn't quite appreciate
the humor in the Shakira's
ass story or the accompanying Top
agree!! they are so stupid and have no life!!
You're absolutely correct. I have no life. A much better
use of my time would be to post on a Shakira message board?
Made in Canada
I thought all hard drives were manufactured in southeast Asia...
From: Jason Wallwork
Sent: Thursday, June 05, 2003 9:15 AM
Subject: SCSI drive nationality (see attachment)
Not only do I have a new SCSI hard drive, but it's clearly
-----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
GAT dpu s:+ a C++++ UL P L++ E--- W+++ N+ o-- K- w
O M- V-- PS++ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5+++ X+ R tv+ b++ DI+ D+
G e h--- r+++ y+++
------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------
The nice thing is that Canadian hard drives have a higher
Which OS is
I'm not sure this three week debate about
which OS the matrix is running will ever end.
Yet another OS is suggested...
Sent: Saturday, June 07, 2003 8:02 AM
Subject: What OS is The Matrix?
To me, it is clear the The Matrix must be PalmOS. It serves
its purpose, does wonders with limited memory and has to be
reset every so often by pushing a button buried deep inside
Sounds logical to me.
Now some arguments about why the Matrix couldn't be OS 9 or X...
Sent: Friday, June 06, 2003 12:40 PM
Subject: rebuttal...Reasons the Matrix is NOT a Mac OS 9.x or X
1) Originality. It is well known that the current incarnations
of the Mac OS (from v6.x +) had a graphic and "click through" interface
long before windows, and it was stated that the current Matrix
is not original, but a copy of someone else's work.
2) Accessibility. It took Neo a few days to be up and running
into the Matrix after he "bought it," where as you
can be in the Mac OS in less than 5 minutes out of the box.
Neo had to eat a pill, chase a rabbit, and had a hole drilled
in his head in order to use the matrix, not that much different
than most Windows installation manuals, I might add.
3) Ease of use. In order for Neo to "be ready" to
even think of entering the matrix, he needed a ton of supplemental
software installed and had to complete hours upon hours of
training, and even yet had problems jumping from roof to roof.
Mac's come ready loaded with free software (word processing/office
suite, photo management, movie making, dvd burning, cd-r burning/ripping,
calendars, games, etc...) preinstalled ready to use, at no
extra charge, and free minor upgrading, and discounted major
4) Cross platform capabilities. A Mac OS can read and write
to any PC based file, and with the right software (Virtual
PC, SoftWindows, Citrix, etc) can successfully run any application
ever written. All software for the Matrix has to meet very
5) Steady Improvements. Every release of the Mac OS since
v6.0-10.2 has shown steady improvement over it's predecessor,
adding new features, making things easier to understand. When
something goes wrong, there is a update available very quickly,
you even sometimes know ahead of time with something not living
up to it's hype or temporary incompatibilities. The Matrix:Reloaded
just stinks compared to it's original
Another convincing case for a Microsoft OS...
Sent: Thursday, June 05, 2003 4:34 AM
Subject: The Matrix uses a Microsoft OS
I think the matrix uses a Microsoft OS for the following
1) The matrix "world" idea was created 2 centuries
ago in the real world and the matrix creator just stole the
2) Only a software that is freed from the matrix control (agent smith) can
use fork ()
3) The matrix tries keep its alternative weak but don't wanna destroy it
4) It is very problematic to delete programs that came with the matrix.
Looks like most evidence points to Microsoft...
Sent: Wednesday, June 04, 2003 6:09 PM
Subject: The Matrix Mailbag
It was obvious that the matrix had better telephony support
than any version of windows, except you still can notice users
of the telephony system show a unique look of pain on their
face as they pick up the phone, which is often what happens
when one tries to pick up the phone in Windows.
Now here's some mailbag-on-mailbag crime....
Sent: Wednesday, June 04, 2003 9:00 AM
Subject: Matrix OS
I thought that Valahn mentioned something quite worthy of
"Zion, being the last human city actual consists of
the descendants of Linux users and programmers who refused
to buy windows VR and like to live deep in the ground where
the sky cant hurt them."
Much like their parents' basement.
Too much Matrix?
And finally a couple messages from people who've seen The Matrix
a few too many times...
Sent: Monday, June 09, 2003 7:33 AM
Subject: You buffoon!
great that your girlfriend likes The Matrix Reloaded, but
I don't think she's gonna appreciate your suggestion that
she wear tight black leather and change her name to Trinity."
It's not leather, it's vinyl, you tit! You've made the same
=elementary= mistake as the vast majority of simpletons commenting
on the coolness of the clothing materials in the movie. One
would have hoped that the knowledgeable proprietor of a pre-eminent
nerd humor site would have been more prudent in such an important
Ascertaining the differences in appearance and use of leather,
latex and PVC as well as their occurrences in the Matrix movies
is left as a pleasant exercise to the reader.
I am ashamed.
This last one is, well, BIZARRE!
Sent: Saturday, June 07, 2003 9:06 PM
Subject: Why did I become IBM & Microsoft "experiment" ? Why
don't they dare to sue me in the US ?
IT IS A (REAL LIFE) SHOW
They bring me their subliminal torture game. Monitor my speech
pattern, twist to fight against me. Annoy me with their midnight
anchor calls. Making me live as a paranoia, of course I have
no evidence. They are using "environmental signal" -
very skillful and systematic - to alter my fate. How can I
tell I have been chosen as an experiment to testify the fortune
teller ? How can I tell I am being projected ? How can I tell
they are killing me ? How can I tell it is "in and out" or "rapport
and project" or "MKULTRA" ? No. I am already
too lucky not to perceive as a God.
I really want to know who initiate the "Chaos experiment",
what covert business did IBM, MICROSOFT, MOTOROLA and ORANGE
betting on me ( very important clue ). I really want to know
what would happen without my tape and mail. I NEED YOUR WITNESSES.
Where do you want to go to date me ?
Serial killer manufacturer ?
Serial Monica manufacturer ?
Why are you related to the fishing game ?
Can you draw a complete outdated map of all "experiments" ?
I will be happy to stand and fight !
That's all for this week!
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