Florida Passes “Don’t Say Words” Bill, Teachers Must Use Binary

Florida Passes “Don’t Say Words” Bill, Teachers Must Use Binary

Tallahassee, FL – In a stunning move that has left many educators scratching their heads, the state of Florida has passed a new “Don’t Say Words” law that mandates all teachers must speak exclusively in binary code.

The new law, which was quietly signed into effect by Governor Ron DeSantis, is purportedly designed to “streamline communication and increase efficiency” in Florida’s public school system. Under the law, all classroom instruction, lectures, and discussions must be conducted using only the 1’s and 0’s of the binary code.

“The “Don’t Say Gay” law didn’t give us enough tools to combat the scourge of wokeism,”  said one legislator.   “If they can’t use words then they can’t communicate dangerous ideas. Communication should be binary just like the genders.”

“I think it’s a great idea,” said one local parent. “My son already speaks binary, so this will give him a leg up when he goes to college.”

The new law also calls for all books not in binary to be removed from school library shelves, leaving only titles like 01000101 and 1. Blasphemous tomes like 1984 and 2001 would be forbidden. 

Teachers were upset by the move.  “We already have to deal with unruly children, and lack of infrastructure and now we have to learn a whole new language to teach our students,” said a third-grade teacher in Miami.  “Don’t they realize this will give the robotic children a tremendous advantage?”

As for the students of Florida, only time will tell whether the new law will help or hinder their education. But one thing is for sure: the state of Florida has once again proven itself to be a trailblazer in the world of education.

Michael Briggs contributed to this story.

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Joe

    Frighteningly close to the reality of things down here. Please don’t make a Bbeliever out of the Florida legislature 😉

  2. Wilbur Walkersky

    Kristallnacht will be DeSantis’s next assault on wokism and as gullible as the people of Florida seem to be, they’ll welcome it.

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