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		Rumsfeld: US Faces Long Hard Schlong in Iraq
		Galactic Empire Takes Over Power in Iraq
		Bush Proposes Universal Time Zone
		Iraq Liberated from Oppressive Statue Regime
		U.N. to Set Standards on Use of the Term "Elite"
		France Demands Return of the Statue of Liberty
		State Department Warns Americans to Not Act Like Americans
		Blair Says Britain Must Back Bush Blair Says Britain Must Back Bush In Order To Become 51st State
		U.S.-Led Iraq War Slated for Super Bowl Halftime Show
		Saddam Actually Just Doing Research for Book on Weapons of Mass Destruction
		Saddam Invited to Virginia Gas Stations
		Ridge Warns of Iraqi Cyber-Attack
		World Bank Announces Special 0% Financing
		Elf Tribunal to Determine Osama Naughty/Nice
		RIAA Cracks Down After Taliban Ousted
		Mirs Hits Taco Bell, Kills Four
		Putin Says Disasters Just Part of Russian "Survivor" Series
		Humas Elated as Apes Near Extinction
		BK's Pokemon Ball Suspected Cause of Japanese PM's Coma