Seattle, WA – It has been ten years since the last installment of Half-Life hit the shelves, but Gordon Freeman fans might not have much longer to wait for Half-Life 3. Valve has contracted Game of Thrones author George R. R. Martin to complete the long awaited finale to the Half-Life trilogy.
“We’re excited to have Mr. Martin on board to finish the saga of Gordon Freeman,” said Valve CEO Gabe Newell. “George said he would get to it right after he finishes the seventh book of A Song of Ice and Fire, A Dream of Spring, so it should be in no time.”
Fans of both series have mixed feelings about the announcement. Jordan Milliken of Fairbanks, Alaska said, “I know Martin has experience in making fans wait, and Half-Life fans are pros at that, but I’m afraid that time may never come. I don’t think I can wait that long. It’s cold up here, and winter is coming.”
The prospect of more death and nudity has other fans excited. “Does this mean that my fantasies about Alyx Vance could become reality?” said Archie Williams of the Official Half-Life 3 Fan Club. “I’m willing to explore cryogenically preserving my body if that is possibly going to happen.
Newell, well known for his irrational fear of the number three, said that other Valve franchises like Team Fortress 3, Left 4 Dead 3, Dota 3 and Portal 3 would soon be seeing updates in the next millennia.
Stock of Frank’s Cryogenic Emporium was up on the news. In other news, pigs have begun the long evolutionary process of developing wings.