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Wednesday, April 21 12:00 PM EDT

Reasons to Not Break Microsoft In Two

10. Microsoft investors know this is the first sign of the apocalypse.
9. This would make Steve Ballmer angry.  You wouldn't like Steve Ballmer angry... (cue Hulk music)
8. Tough to double Microsoft joke output, at high levels such as it already is.
7. Everybody knows that it takes at least 3 versions of Microsoft before you get anything good.
6. Two wrongs do not make a right.
5. There are already enough companies producing bloated, overpriced software.
4. Bill Gates makes a better richest man in the world than Larry Ellison
3. Already sick of the phrase "Baby Bills"
2. Pictures of Janet Reno and Joel Klein doing a victory dance.
1. Gates would head Microsoft, Ballmer would head new company called Ballsoft.

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