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Monday, January 19 12:00 AM EST

Which OS Are You?

By Brian Briggs

Take this quiz to find out which OS most matches your personality. You need to answer all the questions to get an accurate result.

You woke up late, and you have to be at work in 30 minutes, not enough time to complete your daily routine. Do you:
Shower & brush your teeth, but skip shaving.
Brush your teeth & shave, but skip showering.
Shower, brush your teeth, and shave but ignore speed limits, stop signs and the Geneva convention driving to the office.
Call in sick.
Show up exactly 1 hour later than you're supposed to, and announce that today is your religion's Daylight Savings holiday.

You see a woman drop her purse as she gets into her car and drives away. Do you:
Ignore it and go about your way.
Pick up the purse and take it to the nearest police station.
Return the purse less a small reward for yourself.
Track down the woman and return the purse intact.
Use it as an excuse to start stalking her.

When going to a party I usually wear?
Au naturél
Jeans and a t-shirt
Member's only jacket and my Adidas
Black tie, tails

How many friends do you have?
Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me, for sure.
I am the man/woman.

You're driving on the freeway during rush hour, and traffic is at a crawl. You're in the far-left lane, but you need to get to the far-right lane to get your exit. Do you:
I don't drive
Courteously signal your lane change, checking your blindspot, waiting for a good samaritan to permit passage
Creep into the neighboring lane, scaring cautious drivers into giving you a wide berth
Come to a complete stop, turn on your hazards, get out and place emergency flares in a diagonal line across all four lanes
Roll down your window and instruct drivers to get out of your way with your bullhorn

When a co-worker makes a false statement during a meeting do you:
Stay silent
Think to yourself: "Good one. I'll have to remember that one for next time."
Politely correct him
Stand up and scream: "He's having an affair with Lumbergh's wife!"
Pull out the firestick and let him have what for!

What most closely represents your level of education?
High School
Associate's degree from a community college
Bachelor's degree from a real college
Doctorate from MIT

When conversing at a party what is the most common response you get?
"I have a restraining order!"
I stay silent against the wall and mutter under my breath so people will avoid me.
"That's nice, anyway as I was saying..."
Hearty laughter
"Tell me more about your theory!"

Your spouse complains about a large painting on your living room wall which is hanging crooked. Do you:
Move the painting so the top-edge is flush with the ceiling, ensuring it's level.
Bust out your toolbox, complete with laser-level, chalk-line, square, plumb-bob, and pneumatic brad-nailer, and form a committee on the best approach to fixing it.
State that the deviance from level is well within desired parameters.
Tilt all other wall-hangings and furniture to match the pitch.
Tell him/her to go get you another beer.

Which phrase appears the most times on your elementary school report cards?
"Talks too much"
"Works well with others"
"Eats too much glue"
"Star pupil"
"Spends too much time organizing revolts"

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