July 23 - Aug 22
You may think that Satan has possessed your computer this week, but it's only
a corrupted DLL. At least that's what Satan told me.
Aug 23 - Sept 22
Finaly those old computing magazines you've kept for years
will come in handy Since you've been laid off and evicted, you
can use them to make a nice shelter. WIRED magazine covers
will make lovely psychedelic wallpaper.
Sep 23 - Oct 23
Being a vegetarian has become a lot harder since you've given up meat.
Oct 24 - Nov 21
Inspired by "Buzz Beer" of the Drew Carey show, you attempt to create "beer-flavored
coffee". Unfortunately, pouring 40oz bottles of Olde English into your
automatic drip is ruining your coffee maker.
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Your bologna has a first name, but the ladies don't seem to care.
Dec 22 - Jan 19
You catch the family feline at your computer, and she's been up to no good.
Her IRC handle is "CutePussy47".
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Though your friends recommended you break up with your girlfriend in-person,
you opted to instant-message her. Besides, you'd never met her in-person.
Feb 19 - Mar 20
It might be harder to explain your "My wife's a bitch." t-shirt than
you first assumed.
Mar 21 - Apr 19
While visiting your mother to offer some tech-support, you find that she's
set the new world record for the number of system-tray icons, topping out at
217. She doesn't even know what the "Start" button is for.
Apr 20 - May 20
Your record for playing Diablo II online for 72 hours straight
truly impresses your friends. Unfortunately your honeymoon
might not have been the best time to set the record.
May 21 - June 21
You realize your choice of tech support as a career may have been a bad move
as talking to customers is a job requirement.
June 22 - July 22
Until science figures out what that red mark on your forehead is, you better
not pick at it.