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Wednesday  August 30  10:20 PM EDT

Putin Says Disasters Just Part
Of Russian "Survivor" Series

By Brian Briggs

Moscow - Russian President Vladimir Putin announced today that the recent disasters in his country were not the result of a decaying state government, but part of the Russian version of the hit series "Survivor."

russian_survivor.jpg (12953 bytes)"No, no these weren't disasters.  These were Challenges which were just part of the show," said Putin.  He also announced that there will be one "Challenge" a week until only one person is alive in Russia.  That person will be given one million rubles and control of the country.

Putin said, "These critics who said we should have called for help sooner,  I can forgive them because they didn't know the submarine was just one of the Challenges.   If we called for help,  that would be breaking the rules and everyone in the sub would've been disqualified from the game."

Show producer Yuri Popov said, "It's combination 'Candid Camera' and 'Survivor'.   You see we put these people in survival situations, but they don't know they're on TV.  Wacky, huh?"  He added, "Eating rats?  That's a challenge?   Russian people are tough, we eat rats every day.  I'd like to see that evil Queen Richard get out of a disabled submarine at the bottom of the icy ocean, or a burning TV tower high above the city."

The first two Challenges of the show have produced very big ratings, attracting a worldwide audience.  Many can't wait to see what the show's producers will come up with next.  It is rumored that it may be a department store collapsing, or possibly a runaway tank in Red Square.

Not everyone is pleased with the show.  "I wished some of the contestants would stay alive from week to week.  I really wasn't able to build up any feelings for them.  And another thing if you're going to have Challenges at the bottom of the ocean at least get some cameras down there."

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