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Thursday, February 22 12:01 AM EST

Hillary Clinton Voted
"Best Dressed" by Senate

By Brian Briggs

Washington DC - "I'm shocked, and delighted, I mean, wow, Best Dressed!" an excited Clinton exclaimed after learning that she had been voted "Best Dressed" by her colleagues in the senate on Friday. Political Analysts had been predicting a long, drawn out battle over the Senate Superlative votes this week, but in a surprising move, bipartisanship ruled the roost when tallying began.

Best Dressed"What can I say, the woman is a snazzy dresser," Strom Thurmond (R-SC) said after the announcement had been made, "style is not Democratic or Republican." Thurmond himself was named "Most Likely to Die," narrowly beating out Jesse Helms (R-NC).

The question still remains, however, over whether President Bush will sign off on the superlatives, which includes some daring choices. While Clinton and Thurmond were not big surprises, Trent Lott, senate majority leader, eked out enough votes for 'Sweetest Smile.' Many believe Lott won 'Smile' because some senators canceled themselves out by being considered in more than one category. "A lot of senators' aides made big mistakes by spreading themselves too thin" said Allen Bunch, political analyst, "look at John Edwards, he completely lost out." Edwards (D-NC), a very popular senator, could have easily gotten 'Sweetest Smile,' 'Senate Dreamboat,' or 'Most Likely to Succeed,' but the Edwards camp couldnšt settle on which he should get.

"Sure, I can totally see Sen. Kennedy as 'Biggest Partier' and Jesse Helms as 'Meanest,' but to say Trent Lott has the sweetest smile shows that there are some serious problems with how the senate goes about selecting the superlatives," said Betty Mason, President of NUESS, Nitpickers United for Effective Superlative Selection.

Orin Hatch responded to criticisms about voting procedure by showing unyielding support for Lott: "to say Trent Lott does not have a sweet smile, well, that is just inaccurate. When that man walks in the room it is like the sunshine has come to visit."

President Bush called the choices "interesting," and told reporters that all the winners "have good hearts."

"I am humbled to have been given a list of the superlatives, Išm very gracious of that." Bush did express disappointment that his dog Spot was not nominated for anything, apparently unaware that Spot was not a senator. "Oh well," he said after being corrected by the Vice-President, "maybe next year."

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