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Wednesday, June 6 12:01 AM EST

Xbox Features Active Death Technology

By Brian Briggs

Redmond, WA - In a bid to out-do competing force-feedback technologies such as Sony's vibrating PlayStation controllers, Microsoft today announced all controllers for the Xbox console will feature the newly-developed "ActiveDeath" technology.  "ActiveDeath" actually kills the player when their on-screen character dies through a lethal injection carefully hidden inside the large green circle on the controller surface.

ActiveDeath"There's been a lot of investigation on how to involve the player in the game on a physical level," said Microsoft Research Director Greg Thorton, "We've seen vibrating controllers, controllers that administer a small electric shock, and so on.  We thought, 'why not take this to the next level and go all the way?'"

Zachary Chan, a college student and avid gamer, was excited by the news. "This is gonna be awesome," he wrote in an e-mail interview.  "I know that me and my friends are all going to be getting one.  Game over, man! Game over!"

Many question how Microsoft can profit from a product that kills its users, but through a unique licensing scheme Microsoft receives the entirety of the player's estate upon death.  "We may not get much repeat business," said Mr. Thorton, "but we'll make up for it in loot we're bequeathed."

The technology seemed to be a hit at this year's E3 as well. Industry executives lined up for a chance to try Unreal: Championship with the ActiveDeath system enabled.

"It adds a huge dimension of emotional urgency to the game that wasn't there before," said one pale-faced programmer, before he keeled over and died.

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