BBspot


Archives
 
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Recommended
Fark
Mental Floss
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
I-Mockery
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Wednesday, June 6 12:01 AM EST

Xbox Features Active Death Technology

By Brian Briggs

Redmond, WA - In a bid to out-do competing force-feedback technologies such as Sony's vibrating PlayStation controllers, Microsoft today announced all controllers for the Xbox console will feature the newly-developed "ActiveDeath" technology.  "ActiveDeath" actually kills the player when their on-screen character dies through a lethal injection carefully hidden inside the large green circle on the controller surface.

ActiveDeath"There's been a lot of investigation on how to involve the player in the game on a physical level," said Microsoft Research Director Greg Thorton, "We've seen vibrating controllers, controllers that administer a small electric shock, and so on.  We thought, 'why not take this to the next level and go all the way?'"

Zachary Chan, a college student and avid gamer, was excited by the news. "This is gonna be awesome," he wrote in an e-mail interview.  "I know that me and my friends are all going to be getting one.  Game over, man! Game over!"

Many question how Microsoft can profit from a product that kills its users, but through a unique licensing scheme Microsoft receives the entirety of the player's estate upon death.  "We may not get much repeat business," said Mr. Thorton, "but we'll make up for it in loot we're bequeathed."

The technology seemed to be a hit at this year's E3 as well. Industry executives lined up for a chance to try Unreal: Championship with the ActiveDeath system enabled.

"It adds a huge dimension of emotional urgency to the game that wasn't there before," said one pale-faced programmer, before he keeled over and died.

More Microsoft News

Recommend this Story to a Friend

 
 
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Amazon Find the BBook

 

  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

Copyright 1999-2023 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.