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Wednesday, January 17 12:00 PM EDT

Reasons AOL Time Warner Would Buy Red Hat

11. New metric of average customer IQ all the rage on Wall Street.
10. Fears Red Hat may use its monopoly of the 12 Linux using AOL subscribers against it to keep it off the KDE desktop.
9. Securing the rights to "The Life and Times of Michael Tiemann" movie trilogy their highest priority.
8. Confused Red Hat with the company that makes the Where in the World is Carmen San Diego game.
7. Can simply modify ad campaign to say, "So difficult no wonder you'll have to ask your geek nephew for help printing."
6. Running out of computer users to alienate.
5. "The kids keep teasing me about not being cutting edge, so I had to do something about it, Mom"
4. Negotiations to purchase Microsoft not going so well.
3. Because Red Hat said they would give them the source code to Linux if AOL Time Warner purchased them.
2. Wanted to add to their growing stable of technological has-beens.
1. Steve Case is following 2 month salary rule of thumb for purchasing other companies.


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