San Francisco, CA - Hundreds of Apple enthusiasts gathered in a
warehouse outside of San Francisco practicing their "Ooohs" and "Aaaahs" for
the upcoming keynote address by Apple CEO, Steve Jobs. "I really
want to get in this year," said Kevin Starnick who was denied
access last year because his "Aaahs" didn't past muster
with Apple security and marketing.
expectations fueled by the Apple marketing machine has prompted fierce
competition among emoters. No one wants to be left behind and miss
what 1% of the computing population will be talking about tomorrow.
Gregory Simons head of the local Ooh-Aah Squad uses tapes of previous
keynote speeches to hone his team's skills. "This year Jobs
is gonna be blown away by our awe," said Simons. "Disappointment
will not prevent us from performing our duty. If the iWalk turns
out to be a Segway in fluorescent colors we're still going to make
sure He knows we're impressed."
Simons was referring to the unveiling of the iPod which disappointed
Apple fanatics and caught even the most strident of the Squad off
guard. This year Simons says there won't be any "Eeeks" or "Egads".
There was a palpable excitement in the warehouse just one day away
from the keynote, but not everyone was as sanguine as the head Ooh-Aaher.
"I know this might cost me my spot in the audience, but I'm
just not feeling it this year," said Charles Duprey . "Before
past conventions I couldn't sleep for days. Now I'm getting a good
eight hours. I think my hype quota was taken up by Harry Potter and
Lord of the Rings."
Overall, however, the feelings were positive and were best summed
up by a very enthusiastic member, "I really hope it's that One
Button Keyboard that we've been hearing rumors about then I won't
have to fake it!"
The Ooh-Aah Squad denied any connection to Apple's Royal Order of
the Noses of Brown organization.
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