Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Mental Floss
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Wenesday, March 27 12:01 AM EST

Nethacker Ascends from Basement

By Brian Briggs

San Antonio, TX - After three unsuccessful years of attempting to retrieve the Amulet of Yendor, Nelson Larin finally ascended from his parents' basement grasping a homemade necklace and screaming, "I found it, I found it." The obviously fake amulet appeared to be formed from aluminum foil and some twine.

After he emerged from the basement and his delirium, Nelson told the tale of the past 3 years in the 'dungeon'. He told of how he survived entirely on things he killed and bags of Doritos his parents tossed down the stairs, which he insisted on calling "food rations". He also admitted that he never found the real Amulet of Yendor, but he once survived a room full of L's.

His parents were very worried about him, but mentioned they were happy he had finally stopped smoking pot. "We were a little scared for him in the middle of the night he would often yell out, 'I'm starving! I'm starving! Where is the food!' We thought maybe he'd started smoking again and had the munchies. Apparently it was just part of the game," said Nelson's Father, Neil.

"Another night that was really frightening was when he started gleefully exclaiming 'I'm in Hell! I can't believe I'm in Hell!' We contacted the Archdiocese the next morning, but they don't make house calls any more," said Wilma Larin.

"I pledged three years ago that I wouldn't come out of the basement until I won the game, but I really had to go pee. I kept trying #p or #u but I couldn't find any relief," said Nelson. "I will try again and this time I will be successful. My life just wouldn't be complete if I never finished the game."

Sadly on his way back to start a new game in the basement Nelson tripped over his cat, Whiskers, and fell down the stairs breaking his neck.

More Tech News

Recommend this Story to a Friend

Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Amazon Find the BBook


  Politics Contact FAQs

Copyright 1999-2023 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.