Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Mental Floss
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Wednesday, May 22 12:01 AM EST

Sony Music Lobbies for Ban on Markers

By Brian Briggs

Washington DC - Ralph Hughes of Sony Music testified in the Senate today urging lawmakers to enact legislation which would ban felt tip markers. "These innocuous looking writing instruments are the scourge of our society," he said holding up a Sharpie. "Not only can this black stick of death be used to violate the DMCA, but it could also be used to write the instructions to incubate the anthrax virus."

Hughes did concede that a marker had some legitimate uses, but he cited several examples of dangerous and illegal use of the markers which "clearly overshadow any justifiable purposes."

  • Man escapes prison with felt-tip marker by drawing a fake mustache on himself and fooling guards.
  • Snorting felt tip markers leading cause of death among teens who die snorting felt tip markers.
  • A terrorist could sketch a knife on Post-it note and hijack the plane with the picture.
  • A baby with a marker once ruined a perfectly good sweater.
Another Victim of Markers

In response to the news of markers being used as instruments of crime, Senator Fritz Hollings introduced the Hollings' Felt Tip Marker Family Safety Act. "Never have the dangers been so clear and the solution been so evident. This legislation will protect the children of our country in the wake of September 11th and the release of Celine Dion's "A New Day has Come" CD.

"Some citizens may have to switch to pencils or ball point pens," Hollings continued, "but that's a small price to pay for the security of our great nation."

Many pundits were surprised by the Hollings bill. "Normally Senator Hollings only introduces legislation when it's in support of Disney. This support of the Sony Corporation is a welcome change and shows the bi-partisanship of the Senator."

Tom Stephens of the Sanford marker company testified in support of markers, "I spent all last night trying to think of a proposal that was more ridiculous, but I kept drawing a blank."

More Entertainment News

Recommend this Story to a Friend

Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Amazon Find the BBook


  Politics Contact FAQs

Copyright 1999-2023 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.