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Wednesday, July 31 12:00 AM EST

Review: The Time Machine

By Nolan Curtis



Guy Pearce
Jeremy Irons

Director Simon Wells
Official Site Link
DVD Release July 23, 2002
Rated PG-13
Genre Sci-Fi / Thriller
Dead Bodies 1
Explosions 1
Weapons Rocks, sticks, 200 megaton thermonuclear device
Geek Factor 84%
Nolan Sez "It's better than Speed2."

I had a night off from my busy dating schedule this week and was able to take advantage of my Blockbuster rewards card and cash in on the growing number of free video rentals I've accumulated.

I decided on The Time Machinsse with Guy Pearce, a movie based son a novel by Orson Wells (I think he means HG Wells -ed.), the wine guy (Orson also did the voice of Unicron in the classic Transformers the Movie).

Guy plays the part of Alexander Hartdegen, a technophile of his time. His hotty little love squeeze gets killed, and Alexander focuses on building a time machine to go back in time and make things right. His accomplishments only lead him to more questions, otherwise the movie would only have been about 18 minutes long.

I have always liked Guy Pearce and I think he's a great actor. He doesn't really showcase any talents in this film aside from an unusual accent and particularly hollow cheeks, but he's still fun to watch. This film also introduces Samantha Mumba (another musician-cum-actress) as a futuristic cavewoman. Her transparent performance is appropriately balanced by her equally transparent outfit, so in the end you get what you pay for. Orlando Jones makes an appearance as a holographic librarian of the future, and the cast is rounded out by Jeremy Irons who plays a caveman in desperate need of a tan (fans of AD&D may notice he got to keep the outfit from his other hit film, Dungeons & Dragons!)

Oog want milk.The special effects are fairly cool, and the visions of the future are intriguing. Orson Wells must have had some cool ideas in his book, and there were a few times during the film where I was held in place by my curiosity of the practices and cultures of Wells' future. For example, there's a race of animal cavemen that are overmuscled and look remarkably like Joan Rivers. They jump about and snatch the normal cavepeople for food. I found myself rooting for them a little bit at the end.

My friends both said that the movie had a disappointing ending. Maybe I was expecting it to be bad, but it turned out to be typical Hollywood tripe, no worse than most. Overall I enjoyed the film and would recommend it based on the idea of time travel, the cool culture studies, and Samantha Mamba's barely hidden areolas. If any of these things appeal to you and Star Wars: Episode I is already rented out, I say "Check it out".

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