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Monday, October 27 12:01 EST

God Releases Behind-the-Ear Upgrade

By Joe Gasses

Allentown, PA - Members of the Allentown High School Linux Users Group (LUG) suspects the yearbook staff of several slights including making them look “dorky” in their group picture.

“Those guys have it out for us,” said LUG President Stephen McCall. “How else would you explain how dorky we look in that picture? I bet they used Photoshop on their Macs to do it.”

McCall also complained about being put on the same page as the Chess Club, and misspelling Srinath Gutamatharishibatola’s name in one caption. “What, they don’t have a spell checker for OS X?” he laughed.

Yearbook Staff and Student Council representative, Davin Semke denied any wrongdoing. “We’re not jealous of them being ahead of us in SETI units like I’ve heard people say. We don’t care about that. We just want to make the best yearbook that this school has ever seen, so we can remember the best years of our lives forever.”

Semke continued, “And yeah, we use Macs. Apple based OS X on Unix, so I’m not sure why these guys think we don’t like them.”

Teacher Consultant Mrs. Habert encouraged the sides to “talk it out” and said that she didn’t want to see any more apples with knives through them left in the yearbook room any more.

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Members of the AV Club said that their group photo also made them look a bit goofier than normal, but wrote it off as bad developing until the LUG’s suspicions became public. One of the AV Club student members said he might give the yearbook staff the “bad” VCR the next time they ask for one.

Principal Evans could not be reached for comment.

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