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Monday, January 12 12:01 AM EST

Spammers Using Mars Rover as Relay

By Brian Briggs

Pasadena, CA - Spammers have taken control of communications on Mars rover Spirit, and have started using it as an interplanetary spam relay announced NASA representative Sylvia Monborn.

Martians?NASA engineers first became aware the issue when the images of the Martian landscape from the pancam started to resemble hot young girls who like to spread them. For some of the engineers the new pictures were even more interesting than Martian rocks, but they eventually realized that something had gone wrong.

Direct Marketing Alliance President Wilbur Simons said, “The US government passed a law against unsolicited e-mail, so as spammers we had to be more creative. As far as I know the Mars government has not banned spam on their planet.”

NASA promised to track down the people responsible. “Please send to us any spam you receive originating from the ‘@spirit.mars’ address, so we can track down the offending spammers. Don’t forget to include the pictures too,” said primary investigator Elwyn Urchin.

Anti-spam advocates were upset by the news, and called for severe penalties for the offenders. “I think this makes it clear that we need to launch a tactical nuclear strike on the Mars rover to stop these spammers in their tracks,” said Marla Bacon of the Stop Spam Now organization.

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Even some admitted spammers were upset. “It is guys like this that give legitimate direct e-mail marketers a bad name. Using the Mars rover as a tool to spread their pornography is not the proper use for such an advanced device. They should allow it to be used in the name of science, like sending messages about the advanced technology behind our weight loss products,” said Wally Paulsen.

British scientists now believe that communications with the Beagle 2 Mars probe were compromised as well, and an overload of spam shut down the system.

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