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Tuesday, January 26 12:00 PM EST

Things That Would Happen If Software
Engineers Ruled The World

11. Software engineers must be addressed as “High Priest, Master of All Things Java.”
10. Project managers required to attend sensitivity training on “Deadline Flexibility”.
9. Pizza and Chinese food industries convince US businesses to stop outsourcing tech jobs to India.
8. Every Friday is “Work on useless code you think is leading edge” day.
7. Annual $1,000 stipend for purchasing cool stuff to put on your desk.
6. Constitution tweaked every two weeks.
5. Clean desks would be punishable by 15 lashes.
4. Free Xbox game for every 1000 lines of code you write.
3. “Whatever” and “Same as last week” are perfectly acceptable status reports.
2. All technical issues resolved by saying “Well, it works on my PC.”
1. Congress passes Cubicle Prohibition Act.

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