Feb 19 - Mar 20
You will be disappointed that none of the Democratic candidates
cared enough to visit your town to ask for your vote until you
realize that you’re Canadian.
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Somehow I don't think that pitting presidential candidates against each other
in a game of Counter-Strike will settle disputes over military records.
Apr 20 - May 20
Though you are technically correct, your girlfriend will NOT be
impressed by your suggestion that a binary search is more efficient
than sequential search when thumbing through her address book.
May 21 - June 21
Your webcam is broken, and yes, it is the end of the world.
June 22 - July 22
The stars cannot provide you a horoscope this week due to lack of funding from
July 23 - Aug 22
It's not that people don't like you. OK,
sorry, it is.
Aug 23 - Sep 22
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Applies doubly so to broadband.
Sep 23 - Oct 23
Compressed air may be good for cleaning out the computer case, but it's not
a substitute for toilet paper in the bathroom.
Oct 24 - Nov 21
While Super Tuesday was a bit anti-climatic, so to will be your
Super Saturday Tetris party.
Nov 22 - Dec 21
We know you're the one who clicked on that unknown attachment. We
require payment if you don't want us to tell anybody.
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Using the ink cartridge refill kit seemed like a money saver
until you realized after you finished that you own a laser printer.
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Contrary to what your advisors have been telling you, finishing fifth
in all the primaries doesn't attract the chicks.