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Tuesday, September 27 12:00 AM EDT

Signs You've Rented the Wrong Movie

11. Hayden Christiansen has a speaking part.
10. Your spouse is really enjoying the film.
9. Your 5-year-old asks you what a "mother fucker" is.
8. None of the original stars are in the sequel.
7. The only two people in the movie are Paul Sorvino and Philip Seymour Hoffman, and it's rated NC-17 for nudity and sexual content.
6. You're confused by the plot and the opening credits haven't even rolled.
5. Harrison Ford is neither the President or an archeologist.
4. You notice the strings holding up the UFO.
3. The DVD is kinda sticky.
2. McCauley Culkin looks older than 10.
1. The actors are speaking Japanese and the subtitles are in Greek.

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