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Tuesday, March 4 12:00 AM EDT

Reasons I Need a Bigger Monitor

11. To make room for more post-it notes.
10. Current desktop will only hold 130 icons.
9. To match my enormous keyboard and mouse.
8. The last monitor I threw only maimed the person.
7. So I can fit more Star Wars action figures on top of it.
6. Old one wasn't big enough to crack open walnuts.
5. The current monitor is more than six months old.
4. Too much empty desk space.
3. So I can complain about how websites aren't created for 2560 pixel wide users.
2. I need something to hide behind.
1. I can never have enough inches.

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