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Tuesday, March 21 12:00 AM EDT

Reasons to Upgrade to Windows Vista

11. Starting to get bored of Windows 98.
10. Because "Vista" makes more sense than "XP." What the heck was "XP" supposed to mean, anyway?
9. Want to be first on the block to experience security holes.
8. Because keeping an American as the richest person in the world should be everyone's priority.
7. Because if you don't, Steve Jobs might win.
6. They have to get it right eventually, right?
5. Because the new drivers for your video card will only be made for Vista.
4. Need a way to use up some more space on your RAID array.
3. Because a wise man learns from the mistakes of others.
2. Because Steve Ballmer tore off the leg of my cubicle mate and bludgeoned me with it until I said I would.
1. Bill Gates will send you ten dollars for every computer you upgrade to Vista. Send this message to ten of your friends!!!!

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