My wife caught me surfing for pr0n on the internet the other day. I was really surprised by her showing up at my work like that.

If I could go inside my computer, I'd be really tiny.

Sometimes I think people can see me through my browser window, but then I realize it's not a real window.

I find it fascinating that I can get almost any song ever recorded for free these days and all I have to do is make it past the security guard.

I think everyone on the internet should change their homepage to the default "Page Not Found" screen. That way when anyone tried to surf to some site they would think there's something wrong with their connection. Then when they phone up technical support to complain they can explain the joke and everyone would laugh.

If I had an army of robots to do my bidding, I'd get a lot more stuff from eBay.

You can now get computers that have a motherboard in which you can install two video cards; one for each eye.