I love the smell of burnt PC boards in the morning; it smells like upgrades.

It's a good thing we invented the Universal Serial Bus or else Jeff Goldblum wouldn't have been able to stop those aliens.

I've started recording my thoughts on my palm, but now I tend to forget things when I wash my hands.

I always recommend users of Internet Explorer 6 to upgrade to Mosaic.

I want to start a new company to run a web portal, but I don't know how to make the browser window round.

My friend asked me to set up a wireless network for him. I went over to his house and unplugged all his cables. He called me later and said it wasn't working, so I torched his place.

If you're going to stalk some girl, at least make sure she's really cute, because when you get caught you won't look so desperate.