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Tuesday, October 10 12:00 AM EDT

Signs You Should Keep Your Kids Away from Your Congressman

11. Michael Jackson has donated over $1 million to his campaign and frequently campaigns with him.
10. He gives lots of speeches about "oral" values.
9. He French kisses babies.
8. He keeps candy in his front pockets.
7. Even Karl Rove thinks he's creepy.
6. He's endorsed by NAMBLA.
5. His campaign slogan is "Thank Heavens for Little Girls"
4. The campaign bus is an ice cream truck with no windows.
3. He proposes legislation that would protect the children by having them come over for a sleepover at his house.
2. He only gives campaign speeches at daycare centers.
1. The pictures hanging in his office are all of him with shirtless teens.

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