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Tuesday, October 3 12:00 AM EDT

Ways To Avoid Being Sued By The RIAA

11. Track down and hire the A-Team.
10. Fake your own death or move to Sweden or Both.
9. Piece together whole songs from free ringtones.
8. Make the guy selling you the CDs sign a waiver saying that these "are for sure not pirated."
7. Donate $1 million to the political party in power.
6. Distract them by jingling your bright and shiny car keys.
5. Use the Jedi Mind Trick, "These are not the pirates you're looking for."
4. Play the erase card.
3. Only download from work and use a co-worker's PC.
2. Get the musicians to perform the music for you in person.
1. Only download songs that you yourself have written.

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