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Tuesday, January 30 12:00 AM EDT

Headlines You Won't See on Windows Vista Launch Day

11. President Bush Sends More Troops to Cupertino to Quell Anti-Vista Riots
10. Ballmer Defends Decision to Include "Swastika Cursor Pack" in Vista
9. Dell Goes Bankrupt after Realizing None of Their Computers Can Run Vista
8. Switching from OS X to Vista for Dummies Tops New York Times Best Sellers List
7. Ubuntu Users Embrace Vista's DRM
6. Vista WGA Still Uncracked
5. Iraqi Insurgents Declare "Day of Peace" for Window Vista Upgrade Party in Baghdad
4. Most Popular Name for Boys in 2006? Vista
3. Bloggers Eerily Silent on Vista Launch Day
2. Federal Government Orders Flags to be Flown at Half Staff in Honor of Windows XP
1. Corporate IT Managers Declare New Windows Operating System "Vistastic!"

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