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Ways Harry Potter Dies in Deathly Hallows: Part 2
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| 11. |
Neville Longbottom finds out about the prophecy and gets jealous. Pushes Harry to his death down the stairs then bungles attack on Voldemort. Evil wins. |
| 10. |
Catches Wizard's Syphilis from Ginny Weasley. |
| 9. |
Harry becomes Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and you know how that turns out. |
| 8. |
Contracts bird flu from infected owls. |
| 7. |
Voldemort snipes him with an Avada Kedavra, then corpse camps Harry for eight hours. |
| 6. |
Hagrid crushes his spine doing Heimlich maneuver when Harry chokes on one of Hagrid's biscuits. |
| 5. |
"Accio butcher knife" spell goes horribly wrong. |
| 4. |
Accidentally walks in on Professor McGonagall naked. Tears eyes out. Bleeds to death. |
| 3. |
Unaware that the Pensieve has been replaced by a Fountain of Acid, dips his head in. |
| 2. |
Harry begins messianic cult. Gives up hope of ever killing Voldemort. Passes out Deadly Draught to students who complete largest group suicide pact in wizard history. |
| 1. |
Blood can't reach brain after a casting Viagrus Eternus on himself. |
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