Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.
The Nigerian Billionaire draws attention from one of his fellow Nigerians...
Date: Apr 21, 2007 5:22 PM
I am very happy to read your stories and all submmission that your efforts are been frustrated by the scammers, thats true based on the poverty level of the country as well as the quest for wealth which has marred both political and economical circuits of Nigeria.
Well, I will like to know much about you: your background, your basic challenges in life, your efforts to eradicate or reduce poverty in Nigeria and your plans for the youths of Nigeria.
I am an international student in Germany but my love for the motherland cannot be quantified and that is the main reason I am establishing contact with you.
Should I break this guy's heart?
Another web site editor wasn't sure about our story on Google expanding their email storage to infinity plus one, so he had to ask...
Date: Apr 18, 2007 8:20 AM
Subject: Google answer to Yahoo!
I'm a fellow gadget editor from Romania. I wrote your very funny article from april 2 about Google's answer to Yahoo offering unlimited storage space. Is the quote really from Greg Tomkins or is it a fake news?
My ability to injure myself is well documented, but I'm not the only one who has that ability ...
Date: Apr 17, 2007 9:06 AM
Subject: Top 11 list
Cut self badly assembling PC and had to go to the emergency room.
I actually did this. I was at work, and one of our computers was experiencing freeze-ups. In an effort to isolate the problem, I decided to pull all the PCI bus cards. One was a little stuck, so while pulling the card with my right hand, I pushed against the bracket through the slot on the outside rear of the case with the middle finger of my left hand. Eventually the card moved, and when it did, my finger went through the slot. well, my finger is wider than the slot, so the slot rather cleanly tore a chunk of skin on each side of the finger, right next to each edge of the fingernail. Realizing what had happened, I immediately got some gauze and applied direct pressure while continuing to work (of course...)
About 15 minutes later it didn't look like the blood was going to clot, so I was directed to the ER with workman's comp paperwork in hand. 5 stitches, a tetanus shot, and 2 hours later, I was back in the office with one heck of a splint on my left middle finger. The craziest part was having to drive home with my left hand elevated in my car window, with an extra long middle finger visible for all to see..I looked like I was giving everyone the bird!
That was in '02, and those scars will be with me for life. The folks in the ER did laugh when I told them I had injured myself on a computer.
I am not alone.
In the BBlog, I mentioned that I might be getting a summer intern and requested a list of crappy jobs I could give him. Here's one response...
Date: Apr 18, 2007 10:51 AM
Subject: crappy jobs
Here are some ideas I had for your crappy jobs list. Your intern would ideally be relegated to the copy machine. But, not only should your intern make all of the copies, but he should have to also make sure that any printers and copiers around are fully stocked on paper and toner. He should be the wire management specialist. Make him not only run the wires as neatly as possible, but make him crimp and do your patch panels too! Data entry is a must, if you have any DB tables or spread sheets that need populating, have him take care of that too. But, most important of all, if you have any trash that needs to go out, he should be the go to guy!
It sounds like he thinks BBspot is some huge operation with plenty of office equipment to manage. I do have a fax machine and laser printer that needs paper, but that's about a two minute a month job. Data entry on the other hand, that's a good idea. If you have any more, send them in.
The winner of the 2003 and 2006 Geek Limerick contest has volunteered to write a weekly limerick for BBspot. I haven't decided where to put it yet, so this week's I'll put in the Mailbag...
Boris Yeltsin has just passed away,
Causing Russians to mourn for a day.
After hearing this news,
In four press interviews,
Mad Jack Thompson has blamed GTA.