I'm back! Dealing the dirt on this week's tech stories. I have all the inside stories and I know all the lingo. If you follow the tech trends, you better follow Wally, but not too close, because I might STOP! BAM! I'm full of surprises.
Dell fulfilled my dreams this week, by taking a 17" laptop loaded with Ubuntu and smashing it in Bill Gates' face! Take that Microsoft. You're going down, down then whatever else that guy says in that Fall Out Boy song. He sings it too fast for me to catch it. Anyway, Dell announced they'll start shipping computers loaded with the African Linux distribution Ubuntu! Now instead of getting charity for the Bill Gates Foundation, Africa will be getting money directly from Dell! Dude, you've been POWMED!
Stop the presses. Digg users revolt! It's Tiananmen Square and the streets of Paris rolled into one! Digglers (as users of Digg are called) went nuts yesterday when a post revealing the secret DVD code was deleted by Kevin Rose himself! Kevin then swung the post around his head yelling, "Let them eat cake!" while watching a cracked copy of Marie Antoinette on his corporate jet provided by the MPAA! Five minutes later the front page of Digg was completely filled with the secret code! Police reported crates of DVDs being thrown into Boston Harbor. Some guy got run over by a tank (in Second Life). BEDLAM! Digg relented and now the Digglers are back to sucking down $10 cappuccinos. (If somebody can tell me what this secret code means, I'd love to know (I'm kidding, I'm a tech guru! Wally got you! WHACK!))
Some genius declared that Microsoft's "Silverlite" rebooted the web! Way to be unbiased! Doesn't he know that Microsoft is the ultimate evil? How about a little objectivity. You know you can get that from Wally, even with the restraining order. I don't know what "Silverlite" is, but I know it can't reboot the web! The button to do that was lost in the Y2K debacle of 2001.
Wallace W. Wednesday, President and Founder of WWWednesday Consulting LLC, resides in San Mingo Guapo, California. He comments on all aspects of technology in his syndicated column Wednesday Wally on Thursdays.
The following disclaimer must be attached to all documents produced by Wallace W. Wednesday or WWWednesday Consulting LLC by order of the Superior Court of California, County of San Francisco. This ruling is unrelated to the continuing Microsoft restraining order.
Disclaimer: A strong correlation has been proven between advice given by Mr. Wednesday and WWWednesday Consulting LLC, and several corporate bankruptcies. Extreme caution is urged before following any advice proffered by Mr. Wednesday or his companies.