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Tuesday, September 4 12:00 AM EDT

Reasons School is Better than the Internet

11. Teachers much less likely to sell your personal information to Russian mobsters than random Internet site.
10. Teenage girls at school more likely to be actual teenage girls than ones on Internet.
9. Teacher much less likely to compare you to Hitler than anonymous message board poster.
8. Getting new clothes for school much more rewarding than getting new clothes for Internet.
7. Getting stuffed in locker better than getting IP blocked.
6. You don't have to have enough gum to share with the whole Internet.
5. GPA more useful for getting a job than Slashdot karma.
4. Recess at school makes you happy, recess on the internet makes you sad.
3. Feel less guilty about not doing homework than not being up to date on forums.
2. Bomb threats to school most likely will end classes for the day. Bomb threats to Internet largely ignored.
1. Teachers not as nitpicky as commenters on Reddit or Digg.

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